Thoughts on Life, Love, and the Absurd: The True Reason

Thoughts on Life, Love, and the Absurd: The True Reason: Throughout the years, I’ve engaged in quite an assortment of faith-based debates; usually taking up the con position on the topic of whether...

The True Reason

Throughout the years, I’ve engaged in quite an assortment of faith-based debates; usually taking up the con position on the topic of whether or not modern Christianity has it right. This will not be intended as a thread to debate this subject; however for those who are curious, and have silently wondered as to the basis of my (antifaith-based) beliefs, it has a lot to do with my mother. It was my mother, who brought us to Jesus in 1973. Prior to that, she was just like any other middle class divorced mother raising a son in the suburbs. She had a successful career in escrow administration; very pioneering for a working mother of the 60’s and 70’s. I of course, was the typical latch-key kid of the era; though she managed to keep me involved in Scouts and Little League. Despite the pressures on her as not only my primary parent (dad would pick me up most weekends), but as a career working parent, she managed to always stay involved. Sometimes she’d get very moody, even throw the occasional temper tantrum; but not entirely unforeseeable coming from a single parent from Irish Texan stock. But she was my mama, and she was a passionate human being…

It was about the time I was 10, that she brought Jesus into our lives. She had been receiving some sort of psychiatric counseling a couple years before that, possibly for depression – I don’t know. I was too young to understand those kinds of things. But suddenly, she found her purpose in Jesus. Mind you, she had gone to church off and on her whole life, even while I was a little baby; but now she was completely embracing the faith. And so too I, as an obedient child, began to embrace our new life in Jesus. Everything we did in our lives, was to honor God, through Jesus. Everything. Thanks was given for everything; and everything that happened was according to His Will.

Allow me to make a long story short. If this sounds like bliss to you, perhaps it may have seemed like it at the time – but in retrospect, it was not. You see, the woman who sought Jesus was my mother – but once He entered her – I lost my mother. She became somebody else. She lost her sense of humor. She lost her tolerance for humanity. Instead of her and I, and living our lives; it became about what God and Jesus wanted. Every single decision, every single interaction from that day forward was no longer about us – it was about God’s Will. It was about 5 years later, that my mother chose for me to leave, packed up my suitcase, and had my father pick me up. Not for anything I outright did, but because I was becoming a young man who began to formulate his own thoughts. Mind you, I never questioned God (that didn’t come till many years later), I was just growing up – and so was my mind. That was 33 years ago; and my mother had managed to extract herself from everyone’s lives – except God. At one point, I went 19 years without seeing her; and she has spent the last 41 years of her life alone. Earlier this year we were having a phone conversation, and she actually cussed about something. I felt a rush of joy fall over me as this rare glimpse of her true soul shined through for a moment; only to realize how ironic it was that in order to save her soul, she had to sacrifice it…

At some point during the middle of the night last night, my mother passed away in a cold, unattended room. All I can say is, I hope she was right…


Dub'

What precisely is love, anyway? - Pt II

I’ve spoken previously about this (http://dubiousdub.blogspot.com/2011/01/what-precisely-is-love-anyway.html), but the topic of love remains a paradox.  Love somehow manages to be both constant, and variable.  No matter where life takes you, when you have truly loved somebody, I mean TRULY loved somebody with your entire being – can it ever truly disappear?  If you had loved beyond all that is imaginable, but were subsequently hurt beyond all comprehension, what is it that remains?  I say I do not love; and yet for some odd reason – I find myself caring.  Concerning myself; at considerable personal risk to all that truly matters to me now.  I am fortunate, in that I was raised by parents who had entrenched morals.  I’ve pretty much established myself as an independent thinker since childhood, forsaken some of my parent’s personal-beliefs; but never turned my back on their core-morals.  Basically, whatever you do, do the right thing.  Treat others as you would have them treat you; for the most part.  But the one thing that conflicts with me the most, involves my being raised in the Christian church.  Taught to be “Christ-like”, to “turn the other cheek”; to forgive.  To love unconditionally.  I underwent serious emotional devastation, commencing over a year ago; but have since managed to move on.  Took me the better part of a year to get my head on straight.  And yet with all this, this previous chapter in my life still appears to remain unclosed.  My previous love, in whom I had loved deeper than life itself, and who had subsequently willfully and wantonly hurt and disgraced me with reckless abandon – is on the brink of complete and utter ruin.  What is happening to her is a direct result of the extremely peculiar choices she had made, when carelessly discarding the love we once shared to the wayside.   And now, after all of this ruination; after such extreme betrayal – she reaches out to me for help.  Why, oh why mother, had you taught me to be “Christ-like”?   When most human beings would feel great satisfaction at seeing those who have betrayed them so callously, wither and fail; why do I feel pity instead?  Why do I still feel like I care, when I had not been afforded such compassion?  I’ve worn my bitterness like a badge of honor for over a year now.  And if that’s not complicated enough, I find myself – dare I say it – falling in love again; to someone else I had attempted for months to keep at an arms distance.  I must survive, and I must walk forward; and I do not want to ruin the love I share now.  But what is it that truly remains of a seemingly once-perfect love, since mired in a Judas kiss?   She now states that I must be laughing; yet why do I feel like the last person who would do so?  Where one is taught to be compassionate, how does one ever truly close the door?

Dub’

We're all rats, just pressing on levers, waiting to be rewarded with pellets.

Placebo buttons.  Ever heard of the term?  You should have; because they’re everywhere.  Buttons do “our bidding”, because that’s what we’ve been conditioned to think.   For instance, how many of you press the “close door” button when you get on an elevator?  To those of you who do, I want you now to imagine getting on an elevator, and NOT pressing the button.  Just stand there, and look at it.  Wait for the door to close by itself.  Feel that little twitch?  You’re conditioned, just like a lab animal.  Now, how many of you were aware that the “close door” button only works for emergency personnel and workers with that special little key that goes into the key lock you see right above the button?  But ya’ll go ahead and press away, so you can continue obtaining that special little chemical rush you’re all so fond of.  And how about crosswalks at intersections?  How many times in recent memory have you found yourself continually depressing the button?  You know… standing there idle; impatient, and not knowing what to do with your hands?  “Hurry up, light!”  How many of us in that impatient mode continue to depress the button; as though it will magically trigger the light to change.  There used to be a time in history, where those little buttons actually did trigger lights to change; but they’re all run by timers and computers now.  There’s still a few functioning ones here and there; but extremely rare to find.  Do you know why those buttons still exist?  Because not only does it keep you calm; it would cost a ton of money to remove them.  So go take a break, and buy yourself a snack and a soda.  You’ll feel better.  Plus, you’ll get rewarded by pressing a couple of buttons.  It will all be better.

Your station for all misanthropy, all of the time.

Dub’

Things that piss me off - Pt. XXIV

That I haven’t been pissed off in over a month.  This is ruining my reputation. I hope this doesn’t mean I’m getting all soft and mushy; that would really piss me off.

Your station for all misanthropy, all the time.

Dub'

Dub's Piquant 12-Seasoning Dry Rub

My own special blend; especially good on BBQ ribs.

Ingredients:
Brown sugar - 1/2 cup
White sugar - 1 Tbsp
Paprika - 1/4 cup
Coriander - 1/8 cup
Cumin - 2 Tbsps
Dry mustard - 1 Tbsp
Chili powder - 1 Tbsp
Garlic powder - 1 Tbsp
Basil - 1 Tbsp
McCormick's Worcestershire pepper - 1 Tbsp
Salt - 1 Tbsp
Cayenne pepper - 1/2 Tbsp

Apply liberally, and hand-rub into meat of choice.

Guaranteed the best dry-rub you've ever savored...


Dub'

Things that piss me off - Pt. XXIII

• That the couch she'd scream at my son for daring to soil with a spot, now sits exposed in the tall grass of her front yard; after (of course) subsequently spray-painting it black (yes, spray-painted).

• Corporate suits who are just "too important" to understand the time and effort it takes to get things done beneath their hierarchal level; and who want to "shake the tree" when they don't get instant results.

• Individuals who, despite many advance warnings, feign "surprise" when they themselves not only had a direct hand in the outcome; but incredibly even did their part to encourage it.

• When ultra-conservative family members are castigated by fellow RW'ers who would rather pigeon-hole them, rather than allow them to speak their mind about that which is blatantly absurd.

• Misdirected grief.

• Modern pop-culture vampire enthusiasts who take my online comments way too seriously (and of course, delete them), when I suggest that worthwhile vampire entertainment died with Christopher Lee's final film appearance as Dracula in the 70's (and even that was bad). Jesus, lighten up a bit.  Bad television has been around for a long time.

• Monday mornings.

• People who turn their back on a loved one, digging holes for themselves in the process; and then incredibly whine when their former loved one isn't "there for them" when the bottom falls out.

• The corporate time police.

• Those who absolutely must have THE last word, every fucking time.  OTOH, though an annoyance to me, at times I find myself quite humored by it.

• Those who convey their "disappointment" in the actions of others, when they themselves appear to have been setting a similar table.

Your station for all misanthropy, all the time.


Dub'

What is love? What is forgiveness? Who are we, really?

I thought I knew what love was, once.  But when the clock struck midnight, and the masks were lowered, the only thing left realized was that I hadn’t loved myself.  I lived according to expectations.  All that I was, all that I had become, was the sum of many parts.  I lived according to the image many others had built up in me over the years.  I’ve spent precisely a year now attempting to correct this path; not so much out of necessity (though indeed, it is), but more out of consequence.  I’ve become much more tempered, much less compassionate.  I’m definitely edgy; though not necessarily in a bad way.   No more Pearl Harbors.  No more Alamos.  I’m an emotional Minuteman now, if you will.  It’s taken me a year to get to this point, through a mass of emotional scarring the kind of which I would never care to experience again. 

There are some of you who have read my blog who might perhaps think I’m an asshole.  Hey, I may now be an asshole, but I’ll never be a fuckin’ asshole.  There’s quite the difference.  But… am I merely fooling myself?  Is this hardened exterior merely another façade?  Or is this just some sort of futile barrier which entombs a still fragile heart?  I once loved with everything I felt I had, never questioning the future; placing my heart squarely within the hands of another.  Sometimes you love others; then there are times when you are in love with another.  In this day in age, it would seem that a man endures at least 2 great loves in his life.  He could be with hundreds of women throughout his life; but still only 2 great loves come out of it.  Maybe even three, if you live long enough.  Despite the ultimate misfortune of it all, I’m still lucky to say that I’ve endured one great love so far.  But love itself seemed not to endure.  But what is love?  What is forgiveness?  We’re raised and taught by our families to love and forgive; but apparently somewhere along the line we’re expected to no longer honor this core principle which had been instilled so deeply within us.  There are times as children, when we would implore our parents to forgive our misdeeds.  And with a firm hand, they would; but love always prevailed.  Where then does love stop?  Why does it no longer seemingly apply? 

I have been asked for forgiveness.  Well, more than that, really.  Consider the parable of the Prodigal Son.  But does forgiveness involve acceptance with open arms?  I don’t even want to think about love, for I now fear it.  I used to know who everyone thought I was; now I’m uncertain as to whom I think I am.   What does love mean?  What does it mean to forgive?  Who have you all built me up to be?  What does everybody want from me?

Dub'

Oh The Irony! (Or is it just me?) - Pt. II

• A thong bikini barista calling the police to report that a man had pulled up to the drive-thru wearing only a shirt and underpants.  Of notable interest, he didn't expose himself; was just wearing underpants.  She took down his license plate, and the police went to his house.  WTF? 
• 
  
• A cover band called "The Real Deal".   Mmmmmm-kay.
•  
• That to read the most recent copy of the "Absurdist Monthly Review", I have to click on the "download your free copy" button.
•  
• Lead singer of a popular local metal band who's always the life of the after-party, having to walk 7 miles to his destination at 2:30am in the morning. 
•  
• A rather outspoken young man who daily bitches and moans about a plethora of things, posting on Facebook how he "hates whiney little bitches".
•  
• An outspoken ultra-conservatvie pundit with his own agenda and matching syndicated talk-show, publicly conjecturing on his show that a newly released (and highly anticipated sequel of a) child's animated movie is designed to politically indoctrinate our children.
•  
• That Ryan Dunn's best friend was Bam, and bam was the last thing he remembered.

Things that piss me off - Pt. XXII

• Having to place myself in necessary positions which make me feel like an asshole, because my previous life-long inclination of wanting to be a "nice guy" still tugs at my conscience .
• In attempting to sign up for a web discussion forum you really like, the site refusing to accept you because your email address comes up on some "Obvious Spammer" email list.  WTF?  My email address is my full name, followed by the standard gmail designation.  Then again, maybe they've associated it with this blog.
•  
• My fear of further commitment.
•  
• Neurotic women requiring constant assurrances; and who get further agitated when any one of their texts that you receive during the work day goes unanswered for any extended period of time.
•  
• Skipping breakfast, driving 30 miles to work, finding out you left your wallet at home; and you didn't bring lunch - and have only one cigarette left.
•  
• Those who can only manage to find mutual problems when they're not in your company; meaning they want to debate endlessly via text message instead.  **sigh**
•  
• The Blue Screen of Death!
•  
• And while we're on the subject, the IT techs snickering and making vague jokes about porn on your computer - when you KNOW there's no porn on your computer.  And then when reviewing your personal content afterwards to make sure it survived, running across a couple of *questionable* home videos of you and an ex inter-mixed with dozens and dozens of personal photos, that she had shared from her thumb drive of picture memories when the two of you split up, and was subsequently downloaded onto your hard drive.  D'oh!

Your station for all misanthropy, all the time.



Dub'

Things that piss me off - Pt. XXI

• "All white meat" Chicken McNuggets. Those delectable dark ones were the only ones that made ingesting a batch of those things semi-tolerable.

• Crackhead neighbors who at times come to your door late at night to "borrow" a mere thin strip of aluminum foil, because they say they're (once again) "baking chicken". Yo meth-head, would you like a straw and a torch-lighter to go with that too? Wouldn't want you to ruin your "chicken".

• Having honest flirty fun with a good woman, only to have others step in and somehow apply the "Scarlet W" to her, on account of what I myself have been primarily instigating.

• Lifetime unemployed downstairs neighbors on permanent welfare who publicly chastise you, and instruct you not to run your water late at night because it interferes with their shower. Yo asshole, that was me taking a bath, because I have to get up in the morning and go to work so that you can continue receiving your welfare benefits. At least you have 24 hours out of your meaningless day to choose from to take your shower. Just for that I'm gonna switch my laundry schedule around, run all my hot water loads on weeknights after taking my bath; then run the dryer for 90 minutes after I go to bed. Then for good measure, I'm gonna run the dryer on the last load for another 90 minutes when I leave first thing in the morning. Effin' douchebag.

• My money in someone elses hands.

• Paul ain't dead! Quit fuckin' with my head!

• Rainy Monday mornings.

• When a woman takes it upon herself to "tidy up" your house "a bit" while you're not there. Yo, yo, yo. If I wanted a maid, I'd pay for one.

• When somebody deletes your comment, because they just don't understand your humor. It's flavorful; just take it for what it is. That goes double for you jackasses who are commenting to yourselves right now. You know who you are.

• That lowdown thieving POS who somehow boosted my $220 Shure Beta 87A condenser vocal microphone right out of my equipment bag while I was performing. I have video of everyone that was there that night. You best keep your mouth shut, and hope to God I don't find out who you are.

　
　
Your station for all misanthropy, all the time.
　
　
Dub'

Things that piss me off - Pt. XX

• 1/3 lb. "gourmet" burger joints. They ain't all that. Merely an expensive snack; I make and dress bigger burgers at home.

• Burger joints that charge for extra condiments.

• Cold wind and cold rain on June 8th.

• Commuters who complain about missing a bus, because it arrived 5 minutes early. Yo Einstein, first lesson in Bus Riding 101 - don't wait till the last minute, and read the fine print on the bus schedules. Try getting their 10 minutes early and you'll always be covered; whether the previous one is 5 minutes late, or the next one is 5 minutes early.

• Deep fried oysters. They're otherwise yummy; but there's the prospect of nuclear-hot oyster juice beneath the surface of the breading, just waiting to be released somewhere upon your face.

• Helping someone who needs a "quick favor" on a beautiful weekend day by helping to go pick up a free playhouse for their kid; and finding out it weighs 600 lbs., is 12 feet tall, and you spend the rest of the day dismantling it board by board, just so you can offload it from the truck.

• And while we're on the subject, paying (out of your pocket) the driver the 30 bucks needed for his delivery and gas needs, and an additional 30 bucks for 1/2 inch rope to secure the monstrous playhouse - and still not getting paid back yet.  That's a hell of a favor for a "free" playhouse.

• NBA playoff hype. Who the hell cares? The NBA is lame; I'd rather watch hockey.

• Speculators who somehow see their way past my disclaimer. Yeah! You made it for certain into my blog this time! Now remember… "meant for entertainment".

• This damn bleach hi-lighted double mohawk. Blatantly ridiculous. I'm pushing 50 for chrissakes; not 15. It's gotta go...

　
　
Your station for all misanthropy, all the time.
　
　
Dub'

Oh The Irony! (Or is it just me?) - Pt. I

• An organization known as "San Diego Rock to Stop Violence" seeking to raise funds, by auctioning off a signed Muhammed Ali boxing glove.

• From the "Surely Sexualizing Young Women Has Never Led to Violence" Dept.: While we're on the subject, the same organization objectifying and sexualizing anorexic-looking young women, by holding an "open model casting" at the same benefit.

• A young mother with overly-active tykes, taking them to McDonald's in the hopes of tiring them out, and readying them for a nap. "Here, eat your breaded processed chicken parts dipped in high fructose corn syrup, drink your soda, and go play in the balls." That should do the trick.

• An overly outspoken teenage boy who publicly dishes dirt on everyone, instructing somebody on his Facebook page to "stop snitching".

• A disgraced cheater, referring to the women now interested in her ex, as "whores".

• Anthony Weiner. No explanation necessary.

• Conservative columnists advocating limitations on freedom of speech and expression, who are paid by organizations whose very existences are owed to freedom of speech.

Dub'

Things that piss me off - Pt. XIX

• A mutually and eagerly anticipated first date, which becomes a lesson in the realization that scores and scores of countless Facebook pokes just can't replace chemistry.

• Awkward social situations that you're expected to take part in, when you'd rather not.

• Being a nice guy, when you'd rather not be.

• Citing biblical scripture within the exact context in which it was authored, and then being told by a religious person that you're citing it out of context, because it doesn't fit within the dogmatic preconception which they were trained to accept without question in the first place.

• Last nights grocery bill. I know I indulged in a 6-pack of Hornsby's Hard Cider; but how the hell did I spend 35-40 bucks more than usual, and come home with less?

• Men who gloat at a poker table. That should be Man Commandment #11. Men who do this should be severely bitch-slapped.

• Neurotic women who let others corral them into things they wouldn't otherwise do, and then want you there as some sort of rock to fall back on when the music's over - when they could have just fucking said "NO" to begin with. Yo, you're sweet; but I don't do that gig anymore. Chalk it up to experience; apparently you needed some. Now take a Prozac.

• While being surrounded in a virtual sea of women, the one you would choose, and are most compatible with needing to keep you at an occasional arms distance. Schopenhauer nailed it.

• That the only way I can foresee getting my son to do his dishes is by giving him a stack of paper plates, and a garbage can.

• Those who manage to live rent free, and still somehow think that household chores should be distributed equally. Are you fucking kidding me?

　
　
Your station for all misanthropy, all the time.
　
　
Dub'

Things that piss me off - Pt. XVIII

• Looking for your favorite summer shoes - your bad-ass Vans - and finding out that your son at some point had decided to wear them to work on a day he was painting. Son of a bitch. Oops, did I say that out loud?

• Outspoken Christians who embrace prosperity theology, while simultaneously lecturing others on true core Christian principles.

• Outspoken self-help advocates who incessantly post ad nauseum about, and literally make lucrative careers out of their life as "victims"; and then go on to publicly chastise others for "pointing fingers" and "refusing to move on". WTF? Hypocrite much?

• Losing 5 million dollars in poker over a 3 day bad-run.

• Psycho cheating ex's who still think they have the right to openly critique the women you choose to be with.

• Those who toss their garbage in an ash can, when there's a garbage can 10 feet away.

• Those who toss their garbage in an ash can, when there's a garbage can 10 feet away; and then walk away when the ash can begins to smolder.

• When, in refusing to mince words with people of questionable character, they feign moral outrage. There ain't a damn thing I've uttered which I haven't earned the right to say.

• When your grown son whom you still feed and shelter catches the biggest ling cod on the planet, and decides to share it with his friends instead.

• While your grown son whom you still feed and shelter is enjoying the biggest ling cod on the planet with his friends, you washing his dirty dishes he left stacked for the weekend, so that you can cook something for yourself

• That uneasy feeling you can't quite figure out.

　
　
Stay tuned, I feel a bout of misanthropy coming on.
　
　
Dub'

Things that piss me off - Pt. XVII

• Having to process paperwork for business partners all afternoon on Easter Sunday, because they all decided to wait until the weekend to submit their requests for assistance for paperwork that they needed - TA DA!... on Sunday.

• People, who as if they were talking directly to you, engage in 5 minute detailed conversations with your voicemail system.

• And speaking of which, office voicemail systems that won't allow you to "press 7" until you've listened to the entire message first.

• Being on a date, and having a (now careworn) ex-girlfriend from years ago proposition you to go home with HER; only to realize she's looking for a sucker to pay off her crack debt for the night. Then upon turning her down cold, having her throw the "I thought you were my friend" card. Bitch, are you for real? Sorry, but last time I looked in the mirror, I don't recall seeing the words "fucking gullible dumbass" stenciled on my forehead.

• Mid-May. Still cold; still raining, still dreaming.

• Unrealized selfishness. Others, not your own.

• Receiving a booty-call on a work night, when you've been up for 17 hours; and her not "retiring" for another 6. At my age, that can give the *wrong* impression.

• That the nature of life-systems is such that emotional and physical desires can never truly be fulfilled.

• That much like a dog chasing its own tail, purposefullness is a circular endeavor. What does everybody want; everybody seek? Happiness. What is the one that that most people aren't - even those who are "well off"? Happy. Just stop worrying about it, people. Simply… be.

　
Been a while; hopefully it will be a while longer...
　
　
Dub'

Dub's Piquant Northwestern Clam and Bacon Chowder

I've decided to inject another element into the blog. One of my favorite subjects; one which I am very passionate about.  Food.   This is my own recipe, and it came out DAMN GOOD.  This medley of flavors is simply phenomenal; and it only takes about an hour to cook. 

Ingredients-
6 lbs. of fresh clams (or as many as you want.)
Water, as needed
8 slices thick cut pepper bacon, diced
2 Walla Walla sweet onions, chopped
3 cloves garlic; pressed, or 3 tsp minced garlic
2 stalks celery, diced
2 carrots, peeled and diced.
1 1/2 cups water
4 large Yukon Gold potatoes, peeled and cubed
Salt and McCormick's Worcestershire black pepper, to taste
1 cup quality Sauvignon Blanc
2 tsp Worcestershire sauce
2 tsp hot sauce of choice (such as Tabasco)
1 tbsp thyme
1 tsp dill
1 tbsp cornstarch
1 quart half and half
1 stick of butter
4 tbsp malt vinegar
2 tbsp parsley
　

• Steam clams in about 2 inches of water, just until clams open. Reserve clam juice; mince clams, and set aside.
• Add enough water, along with the clam juice, to make approx. 1 quart of liquid. Set aside.
• In stock pot, cook diced bacon over medium-high heat until almost crisp.
• Add onions, garlic, celery, and carrots; saute for 5 minutes.
• Stir in 1 1/2 cups water, and potatoes; season with salt and Worcestershire pepper. Bring to a boil, and cook uncovered until potatoes are tender. Note: You may be tempted to add more water here, but do not.  It's going to look thick, but it's supposed to be.  There will be plenty more liquid to add later.
• Add reserved clam liquid, white wine, Worcestershire, hot sauce, thyme, and dill. Return to a boil. Reduce heat to medium, and simmer about 10 minutes.
• Dissolve cornstarch into the half and half, and stir the mixture into the soup. Add the butter, and stir.
• Add clams, stir occasionally, and cook until it just starts to bubble; but do not allow to boil.
• Reduce heat to low, and cook for 3 minutes, or until lightly thickened.
• Add the vinegar and parsley, and stir in.
• Get your damn grub on.

The Men Commandments

The Divine Laws of Men, among Men

• I - Unless it impacteth thine own business, thou shalt not concern yourself with, nor question the business of thine brethren.

• II - Abideth not according to the words of false prophets, such heresy as "brethren before harlots"; for thou shalt have no false creeds before me. Refer thee to Commandment I if thou understandeth not the sanctity of thine brethren's business.

• III - Unless with thine father, thou shalt not engage in personal phone conversations longer than thou art willing to stand with thine brethren and shake his hand. Conductith thee thy business.

• IV - Unlike women, thou shalt not congregate in herds with thine brethren; and instead roam as but few among the pack in open spaces.

• V - Unless it be thine own, thou shalt not wear upon thine back the surname of any man yet living.

• VI - Unless absolutely necessary, thou shalt not selecteth thee an adjoining stall or urinal within a public restroom; neither will thee engage in conversation or make eye contact. Thou shalt wash thine hands.

• VII - Thou shalt not consume unsliced bananas amongst thy brethren.

• VIII - Hindereth not your busy brethren from whence he comes, to where he goes; in so far as a simple head nod and shoulder slap will suffice. If ye engage in dialogue, make it therefore quick and meaningful. Idle talk is tolerated, only so far as ye and thine brethren are seated, and have some form of quaffing beverage placed before each of ye.

• IX - Concerneth yourself not with thine brethrens downed-zipper; for that is strictly thine brethren's business. You knoweth not.

• X - Thou shalt not defile the sanctity of thine brethren's home in any fashion; and though ye might covet, thou shalt not adulterate thine brethren's hospitality by seeking time alone with thine brethren's woman. Woe unto he which breaketh this most solemn commandment, for surely pain and malevolance will follow thee the rest of thine days until thy grave be pissed upon.

　

　

So sayeth Dub'

Dating, Consorting, & Relating

First off, I don't claim to be an expert; I've just got experience. Therefore I have an opinion. As the "perpetuator" of the species, a woman pretty much knows within the first five minutes of meeting, whether or not she wants to spend time with a particular man. That said, men need to see beyond their testosterone rush, and be able to identify and discern this all-important cue. Does she smile, or not? Does she look at you when the two of you speak, or look elsewhere? Is there a sparkle in her eyes, or does she have the look as though she's waiting in line somewhere? Cues. Simple cues. I can't count how many times I've seen dudes pushing it with a woman who's obviously - and visibly - not interested. It's sadly pathetic, and does nothing for your confidence; and confidence is what you need to succeed.

If she seems interested, and gives you her number - call her; but (and unless it's worked out beforehand) give it a little buffer period. Not too much; just enough for her to thoroughly ponder you. When it comes to the actual call - call her once, and only once. If you get the "I'm busy" bit, let it go, and don't call back. There are exceptions; but the general rule of thumb is that if a woman is interested in a man, she will make herself available to him. If she is indeed busy, and still interested, she will let you know; perhaps even suggest another time to get together. Anything other than this, just wipe your hands; turn and walk away. It's the most respectable move a man can make for himself in that situation.

Aiming high is an admirable trait in a man as well. That's perhaps one of my greatest weaknesses; but there's nothing quite like the prospect of striking gold that makes a man truly take stock of himself. Play up, and out of your league once in a while. It's very important also that you possess no tolerance for disrespectful behavior; don't allow yourself to become a doormat. Just walk away. Don't beg. Don't plead. Don't fret. Sometimes it takes a long time to learn these lessons; but I can assure you it's best to just turn your back, and save your dignity.

If OTOH you find yourself in a relationship, avoid complacency. Completely. Learn how to be unpredictable. That may sound odd, but it's the mundane routines which are threats to a relationship. If you recognize the onset of complacency, start mixing your signals. Shower her with affection, then back off for a while. Get in touch unexpectedly, then disappear for a bit. Don't go overboard; just keep her pleasantly surprised. Sometimes this means making yourself unavailable at times. You oftentimes hear women claim that they don't want any drama in their lives, but this is precisely the kind of dramatic challenge many of them crave. Sometimes this means showing an open interest in another woman. Whereas a man should never take a woman for granted, a man needs to stand up and demand the same for himself. Sometimes this is what it takes.


Lastly, it comes down to three (3) very simple things:

1. Mutual admiration
2. Mutual respect
3. A mutual sense of wanting what's best for the other.

Without these three components, there is simply - nothing…
　
　
Dub'

Things that piss me off - Pt. XVI

• Battery life, as related to keeping smart phones "smart". Can't even make it through an entire day without hooking the phone to a charger at some point.

• Fruit-flavored, "extra-strength" Tums, with calcium. Here's a great idea. Let's take a barely effective medicinal product, make it look and taste just like candy, and then lace it with calcium. Then market it towards a particular target-demographic prone more to kidney stones than others; and who also require a greater dosage for effectiveness. Pardon my pharmacological ignorance, but really - what's the deal with calcium in antacids? And why the hell don't you put child-proof caps on this product? A toddler gets a hold of that, all they will see are big, round, pretty, easter egg-colored "candy"; which tastes like… well, candy.

• Growing up with Ward Cleaver and Jim Anderson as the pop culture criterion for fatherhood, and *not quite* being able to duplicate that.

• While we're on the subject, has anybody ever noticed the inordinate amount of family shows from the 60's which had single fathers raising children? What was that all about? Shows such as My Three Sons, Bonanza, The Beverly Hillbillies, Courtship of Eddie's Father, Family Affair, Flipper, The Andy Griffith Show/Mayberry R.F.D, etc. Why did Hollywood hate mothers so much in the 60's?

• Having to now shell out 6 bucks for a half-way decent frozen pizza.

• Having her take you home, only to have her drunkenly pass out while slow dancing to good, mood-setting music. Scratch that. At my age, that's actually more amusing than annoying. It all comes and goes. Now, for you younger guys, this would probably stay on your list.

• Hiatal hernias.

• Medical bills which flood your mailbox; only after all the professional "concern" about your health dies down.

• Microwave meals that instruct you to "let stand for 2 minutes in microwave" after it's done cooking. I'm hungry, and I chose a nuke meal. That means I don't have the patience to cook; why would I have the patience to wait?

• My gastrointestinally self-destructive eating habits; only after the fact, of course.

• That I forgot to call my son for our annual long and drawn-out meaningful father/son talk at 4:19pm on April 20th. For some reason, the timing always seems to not be convenient for him.

• When I go grocery shopping between sales and mark-downs on the items I usually consume, and face paying full price. Yeah, I know, just go to Grocery Outlet; but that place gets real old after a while.

• Vehicles with more than one occupant, clogging up the fast lane when I'm trying to get somewhere, instead of chugging along at 60 in the diamond lane where they belong.

• While driving solo, having to resort to using the diamond lane as a passing lane so as to pass the aforementioned vehicle, on account of everybody and their mother is already passing us on the right.

• Remember when you were young and horny, and you had to practically bend over backwards to convince others that you had actually slept with someone? Apparently I'm at the age now where I have to fight even harder to convince others when I HAVEN'T slept with someone. WTF?

Always more forthcoming...

Dub'

Things that piss me off - Pt. XV

• Chislers, welchers, and deadbeat scumbags.

• Distance, when it's not desired.

• Dry, time-consuming meetings which pull dozens of people away from their work at the same time.

• While we're on the subject, people who give presentations at dry, time-consuming meetings; and aren't creative or articulative enough to do anything other than read directly off of what's already on the presentation screen. Seriously, you want us to learn something here? Then don't read word-for-word off the screen as if we were 4-year olds getting ready for bed. What a complete waste of time! Consider instead telling us what you're going to talk about; then talk about it WHILE you refer to the slides. Then summarize, by telling us all about what you just told us. Voila'! We all just learned something, and you just made it worth our collective time.

• Having to resort to doing other peoples dishes; not that I've always been completely innocent. But when I'm still paying ALL the bills as well?

• Misplaced expectations.

• 1% milk.

• Overly-critical people who disparage every single thing specific individuals do and say, no matter what.

• Smart-asses who don't know the *proper ways* of being a smart-ass. It's part science, part fine-art.

• That GED's have become so heavily depended upon at large, by our society. Whatever happened to just about everybody going to school all the way thru highschool, and then graduating? I briefly discussed John Hancock today; and I swear, some people thought I was alluding to masturbation.

• The fact that it's the 3rd week of April, and Spring is still nowhere to be found up here in the Puget Sound.

• Unknown reasons behind continued periods of self-isolation.

　
　
The rants continue...
　
　
Dub'

Things that piss me off - Pt. XIV

• Cowards whose mouths are bigger than their balls.

• Divisional business partners who come at me early in the week, to announce they're going to log-jam me the final 2 days of the week; rather than simply stagger the work from that point on. Yeah, it's not like I've ever had anything to do at work those final 2 days before the weekend.

• Having the City tell the property owners to change the unit numbers, then finding out from the cable company that the person who had THAT number previously (though it was a different place) owes back fees which now render your current residence (where you've lived for years) as "unserviceable" - until of course somebody ponies up the money. Confused? So is the cable company. Not me though; I'm just pissed.

• Having to worry about others, when I've never quite worried enough about myself.

• Human cockroaches who don't work for a living, leech off a system they never paid into, and go around spawning numerous illegitimate cockroaches of their own; so that society has to pay for them too. If there's one thing wrong with this country, there it is in a nutshell.

• Migraines. They're back; pretty much with a vengeance.

• Paying other peoples bills, when I'm pretty much overwhelmed by my own.

• That I've gone through 2 attorneys, 2 States, and 3 retainers (getting ready to pay my 4th), and I'm still not divorced. Why don't you just let me go, for Chrissakes? No property, no children; and I've paid the majority of the community bills. What the hell are you holding out for? It's been over 8 years; and you've spent the last 7 of them with the same man. Let me get on with my fucking life.

• Those who would suggest it's acceptable for me to consider the possibility of having my own blood spilled, while getting nothing tangible in return on account of it; rather than to simply settle the final score once and for all. For good. Forever.

• Those who take the money, and run.

• Wishing you could be somewhere else far away; and knowing you can't.

　
　
And so it continues...
　
　
Dub'

Things that piss me off - Pt. XIII

• Motivational-type people who post incessant daily updates and happenings dripping with overly-positive personal affirmations and testimonials; to the point it makes you want to barf. Yo, there's a reason these people post like this ad nauseum; and it has nothing to do with YOUR lack of success. It has to do with them being afraid of their insecurities; in addition to their overly-inflated egos and disproportionate senses of self-importance.

• That love has become like shooting a game of darts; i.e. sometimes you gotta find satisfaction in the uncertainty of fighting hard for a game you're in the middle of, rather than focusing on the bullseye you scored in a previous game which you lost.

• That I still tend to ignore my mail box.

• That if fate would have it, there are those who would insist that other miscreants who had capitalized on my (previous) good nature, would continue to be able to do so; and that all the pressure would remain on me instead of them. Get a mother fuckin' job, you worthless leeching dirtbag cockroach.

• That sometimes I just have to mind my own business, when my conscience tells me I shouldn't.

• Lip service.

• That in attempting to rightfully protect my own valid feelings, I have to constantly be reminded to consider the feelings of others which aren't necessarily in line with mine. I'm getting too old for this nice guy shit; I'm more like that carton of milk that's now 7 days past its purchase date. I may be seemingly delicious today; but tomorrow I'll be sour and curdled. Drink up now, or throw me away.

• That my mother is stubborn, and won't take her meds. It's like watching a female version of me, 30 years from now.

• That we live in a society where the family unit has become so fragmented, that it's perfectly normal to send our aging elders into "rest homes", instead of caring for them as they had cared for us. Look at Asia and the Middle East. No rest homes; just intact families who depend on each other till the end.

• Animals posing as humans, who can only manage to obtain off the blood, sweat and tears of others.

• That nowadays, even a great love is seemingly nothing more than the prospect of a near-perfect game; and means absolutely nothing unless it goes the distance for the win. How do you think Harvey Haddix felt?

• Men without honor.

　
　
More of the moronic on the way...
Dub'

Things that piss me off - Pt. XII

• Billing and accounting practices of independent auto sales and repair shops.

• Care-facility workers for the elderly, who in an effort to make their job easier and more convenient, would intentionally mislead and confuse a stroke victim. I'm serious; this shit happens more than you would ever even think.

• Cracking the screen on my Blackberry, after working my Texas Hold Em' chip count up to over 8 million dollars.

• Making your own way home 30 miles from the airport on a Saturday night, when the person you anticipated would have no problem picking you up, is perfectly comfortable watching other friends of thiers sing karaoke instead.

• Those who carelessly cast aside a valued investment, in favor of an obvious bad investment; and then insist on wanting their original investment back after they go bust on the new one. Yo, it's an unfortunate situation, it really is; but apparently you got what you bargained for. Quit whining.

• That's there's always *one member* within a band of musician's who takes it upon himself to needlessly make it harder on everyone.

• That before the social networking phenomenon, it was somehow perfectly normal to go 30 years without seeing or hearing from extended family members.

• What happens to the mind of a parent, after they've suffered a stroke.

• That I couldn't stay longer in Oklahoma. Despite the reasons I went there, I was really beginning to like it there.

• That the half-retarded, blow-hard, wanna-be thug, man-child next door still thinks that the empty threats which continue to come out of his big mouth somehow intimidate me. And while we're on the subject, why are you still so concerned with what you would think I do with my ass? That's all you seem to talk about. Can you say *obsessed*? Closet-case much?

• Those who would think they can sell me on some ludicrous idea that being considered second best is somehow acceptable. Don't piss down my back, and then tell me it's raining. Mama raised a fool; not a damn fool.

　
　
Stay tuned; always more to come...
Dub'

Things that piss me off - Pt. XI

• The airline and travel industry; more specifically the price gouging for otherwise inexpensive and nominal services. You goin' somewhere? It'll cost you 40 bucks if you wanna bring your luggage along too. Hungry? 10 bucks, and we'll let you eat this little stale sandwich so you don't starve while trapped in our flying tube. Need to check your email? That'll cost you 13 bucks.

• Cell phone plans that reward unknown prospects, by inducing them with anywhere from a $35 - $99 dollar phone to sign up; but force reliable long-term established customers to cough up anywhere from $250 - $600 for the same phones when they finally need one.

• And while I'm on the subject of cell phone service providers, I find it quite ironic that a billion dollar industry that relies on high tech satellite communications, can't even so much as figure out how to get their customer service people to communicate properly with their customers. I mean, really now. Ya'll should be leading the way when it comes down to the topic of effective business communication.

• Getting dealt a crappy hand when you've got the small blind.

• Getting dealt a crappy hand when you've got the small blind, and nobody raises.

• Height bigots, and those who make fun of short men.

• Intellectual dishonesty.

• Lost luggage. Why always me?

• Seriously thin-skinned people who wouldn't know a real problem, if it came up and slapped them in the face.

• Medical care providers for the elderly, who approach their jobs as if it's just another job to do. It's not. When you're trying to get a skeptical elderly patient to take all those different meds, why don't you take a brief moment out of your hectic day to actually explain WHAT those meds are for, and WHY it's important they take them? Getting all flustered and huffy because an otherwise unaware elderly person has their own will isn't getting the proper message across. The elderly often require additional care; which takes more time and effort than most of us. Just take a breath, relax, and explain. There… now everybody feels better.

• While we're on the subject, why do you continually give my mother bland meal selections (which she continually voices her displeasure, to no apparent avail so far), while at the same time giving a big bowl of spicy chili to the elderly lady at her table who suffered her third heart attack? Which of you Einstein's there is the dietician?

　
Still on my trip to the mid-west; I guarantee more to come soon.
　
Dub'

Things That Piss Me Off - Pt. X

• Half-measures of anything.

• Hospital social workers.

• Losing to people who have no honor.

• Obamacare. Now that I see what it really means to my elderly mother on Medicare.

• Office politics.

• Overly-conspicuous red herrings ("hey everybody, look over there!"), and those who resort to them.

• People who demand immediate answers for things that aren't otherwise imminently required, and don't seem to understand what it means when others prioritize; and then resort to going over your head when they're not given top priority.

• Saint Frances Hospital, in Tulsa Oklahoma. "Obamacare" at its worst. Or is that "finest"?

• Self-imposed withdrawal and alienation. Used to be you just had to meet somebody to make a connection. Now it seems the more people you meet, the fewer prospects there appear to be.

• That in order to simply be taken seriously by those who would otherwise cast aside my opinions, I must at times resort to stinging forthrightness.

• Those who carelessly tread on others, then object as to the length of ongoing tensions their actions had created in the first place. The bigger the pond, the more significant the ripples.

• Those who preach to others about accountability; then would have us all overlook the significance as to the impact their subsequent bad choices had on everyone else.

• Transparently thin and ever-changing rationales that wreak of bullshit; and whose purveyors would have you think are valid reasons.

• Trying to cut through red tape during real emergencies.

• Women who keep me tucked away, like I'm a dirty little secret. What? Am I a vibrator, or something?

I'll be traveling this coming week; I'm certain that will provide no shortage of fodder for the 11th installment of TTPMO.


Dub'

Every Path Has Its Puddle

Bittersweet the barren path which leaves us cast away, than those traversed in turpitude by those maligning prey.

Don't dig your grave with knife and fork; your own, especially.  Can't trust the world; must look within yourselves, specifically.

A camel's nose within a tent; his body follows suit.  Intrusiveness allowed within destroys; there's no dispute.

Adorning demons within silk; they're demons nonetheless.  It's the evil which resides in them which has you now possessed.

A new broom brought in, sweeping clean; I know I'd let you down.  But electives pinned-down afterwards weren't why I'd lost my crown.

Stolen fruit, the sweetest thing; picked ripely from a tree which others cared for tenderly.  In gardens, there's no fee.

The devil looks after his own, while in your eyes I'm stained.  The devils's own now stands adorned.  I naked; garbed in pain.

The wish is father to the thought; creating thine own cause.  No comfort found in rationales, long after one withdraws.

It takes all sorts to make a world, I'd thought I knew my place; but never thought the sorts I'd chose would lead me to disgrace.

One of these days means none at all; "shall pass" remains unclear.  Will never happen quite that way; shall shoulder it for years.

Anytime still means no time; shan't happen, know it's true.  Beguiled paths adorned with hope, believed in hitherto.

Blood will out, just give it time; true nature will surprise.  Like bubbles submerged forcefully; eventually, they rise.

The die is cast, or so you've said while claiming no control of choices which are volunteered; forsaking now a soul.

Best to lose a saddle now, rather than the horse; an unseen path is what remains.  Are hearts filled with remorse?

Yet half a loaf is better than - none; or so we're told.  Please pardon my ingratitude; all that's left is mold.

All things grow with time - 'cept grief.  But I don't believe that's so.  Perhaps more time is what I need; my path will help me know.

The rains in spring bring forth the blooms; unpleasant, though today.  Tomorrow just extends the cold which winter brings my way.

Those who will the end, it's said, shall also will the means.  Time has come for me though now, crossing my ravines.

Facts speak loud, much more than words - uttered all along.  Inspiration; bitter now - you've finally got your song.

With distance great, shall hearts grow fond?  Shall love then remain strong?  A new path traversed in solitude is where I now belong.

Bittersweet as love can be with those whom we depend - upon to treat us lovingly; Lord, save me from my friends.

 

Dub'

Unwritten Codes of Life - Protocols for Men, Pt. I - Public Restrooms

• Discussions are not to be initiated, and conversations are generally to be avoided altogether.

• Eye contact is to be averted; and when standing at the urinal, the head and eyes are to be directed straight ahead at the wall. This is precisely why many establishments now frame the sports page on the wall behind every urinal. Get a clue.

• Stalls are to initially be chosen from the ends, opposite sides first, working inwards towards the middle.

• Unless absolutely necessary, an adjoining stall to one that's already occupied is never chosen.

• Under NO circumstances, are "wide-stances" to be tolerated.

• Courtesy flushes are acceptable. Do not impugn, nor fret over them.

• When two men, from separate paths, eventually make a beeline for the same restroom door, the man not in the lead shall yield by pretending he's actually heading in another direction.

• When you're the only one in the restroom, and you've had ample time to conduct your business accordingly; your time is officially up once somebody else steps into another stall.

• Wash your damn hands. With hot water. And lots of Gojo.

• I don't care if you just washed your damn hands, I ain't shakin' it. Really? As a matter of fact, you shouldn't have even noticed I was in here, if you'd simply paid heed to the eye-contact protocol.

• Under no circumstances, ever, is it acceptable to perform personal surgery in a bathroom stall. Trust me on this one.

　
Questions?
　
　
Dub'