Monday, June 13, 2011

Things that piss me off - Pt. XXI

  • "All white meat" Chicken McNuggets. Those delectable dark ones were the only ones that made ingesting a batch of those things semi-tolerable.

  • Crackhead neighbors who at times come to your door late at night to "borrow" a mere thin strip of aluminum foil, because they say they're (once again) "baking chicken". Yo meth-head, would you like a straw and a torch-lighter to go with that too? Wouldn't want you to ruin your "chicken".

  • Having honest flirty fun with a good woman, only to have others step in and somehow apply the "Scarlet W" to her, on account of what I myself have been primarily instigating.

  • Lifetime unemployed downstairs neighbors on permanent welfare who publicly chastise you, and instruct you not to run your water late at night because it interferes with their shower. Yo asshole, that was me taking a bath, because I have to get up in the morning and go to work so that you can continue receiving your welfare benefits. At least you have 24 hours out of your meaningless day to choose from to take your shower. Just for that I'm gonna switch my laundry schedule around, run all my hot water loads on weeknights after taking my bath; then run the dryer for 90 minutes after I go to bed. Then for good measure, I'm gonna run the dryer on the last load for another 90 minutes when I leave first thing in the morning. Effin' douchebag.

  • My money in someone elses hands.

  • Paul ain't dead! Quit fuckin' with my head!

  • Rainy Monday mornings.

  • When a woman takes it upon herself to "tidy up" your house "a bit" while you're not there. Yo, yo, yo. If I wanted a maid, I'd pay for one.

  • When somebody deletes your comment, because they just don't understand your humor. It's flavorful; just take it for what it is. That goes double for you jackasses who are commenting to yourselves right now. You know who you are.

  • That lowdown thieving POS who somehow boosted my $220 Shure Beta 87A condenser vocal microphone right out of my equipment bag while I was performing. I have video of everyone that was there that night. You best keep your mouth shut, and hope to God I don't find out who you are.
Your station for all misanthropy, all the time.

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