Oh The Irony! (Or is it just me?) - Pt. II

• A thong bikini barista calling the police to report that a man had pulled up to the drive-thru wearing only a shirt and underpants.  Of notable interest, he didn't expose himself; was just wearing underpants.  She took down his license plate, and the police went to his house.  WTF? 
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• A cover band called "The Real Deal".   Mmmmmm-kay.
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• That to read the most recent copy of the "Absurdist Monthly Review", I have to click on the "download your free copy" button.
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• Lead singer of a popular local metal band who's always the life of the after-party, having to walk 7 miles to his destination at 2:30am in the morning. 
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• A rather outspoken young man who daily bitches and moans about a plethora of things, posting on Facebook how he "hates whiney little bitches".
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• An outspoken ultra-conservatvie pundit with his own agenda and matching syndicated talk-show, publicly conjecturing on his show that a newly released (and highly anticipated sequel of a) child's animated movie is designed to politically indoctrinate our children.
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• That Ryan Dunn's best friend was Bam, and bam was the last thing he remembered.

Things that piss me off - Pt. XXII

• Having to place myself in necessary positions which make me feel like an asshole, because my previous life-long inclination of wanting to be a "nice guy" still tugs at my conscience .
• In attempting to sign up for a web discussion forum you really like, the site refusing to accept you because your email address comes up on some "Obvious Spammer" email list.  WTF?  My email address is my full name, followed by the standard gmail designation.  Then again, maybe they've associated it with this blog.
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• My fear of further commitment.
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• Neurotic women requiring constant assurrances; and who get further agitated when any one of their texts that you receive during the work day goes unanswered for any extended period of time.
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• Skipping breakfast, driving 30 miles to work, finding out you left your wallet at home; and you didn't bring lunch - and have only one cigarette left.
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• Those who can only manage to find mutual problems when they're not in your company; meaning they want to debate endlessly via text message instead.  **sigh**
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• The Blue Screen of Death!
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• And while we're on the subject, the IT techs snickering and making vague jokes about porn on your computer - when you KNOW there's no porn on your computer.  And then when reviewing your personal content afterwards to make sure it survived, running across a couple of *questionable* home videos of you and an ex inter-mixed with dozens and dozens of personal photos, that she had shared from her thumb drive of picture memories when the two of you split up, and was subsequently downloaded onto your hard drive.  D'oh!

Your station for all misanthropy, all the time.



Dub'

Things that piss me off - Pt. XXI

• "All white meat" Chicken McNuggets. Those delectable dark ones were the only ones that made ingesting a batch of those things semi-tolerable.

• Crackhead neighbors who at times come to your door late at night to "borrow" a mere thin strip of aluminum foil, because they say they're (once again) "baking chicken". Yo meth-head, would you like a straw and a torch-lighter to go with that too? Wouldn't want you to ruin your "chicken".

• Having honest flirty fun with a good woman, only to have others step in and somehow apply the "Scarlet W" to her, on account of what I myself have been primarily instigating.

• Lifetime unemployed downstairs neighbors on permanent welfare who publicly chastise you, and instruct you not to run your water late at night because it interferes with their shower. Yo asshole, that was me taking a bath, because I have to get up in the morning and go to work so that you can continue receiving your welfare benefits. At least you have 24 hours out of your meaningless day to choose from to take your shower. Just for that I'm gonna switch my laundry schedule around, run all my hot water loads on weeknights after taking my bath; then run the dryer for 90 minutes after I go to bed. Then for good measure, I'm gonna run the dryer on the last load for another 90 minutes when I leave first thing in the morning. Effin' douchebag.

• My money in someone elses hands.

• Paul ain't dead! Quit fuckin' with my head!

• Rainy Monday mornings.

• When a woman takes it upon herself to "tidy up" your house "a bit" while you're not there. Yo, yo, yo. If I wanted a maid, I'd pay for one.

• When somebody deletes your comment, because they just don't understand your humor. It's flavorful; just take it for what it is. That goes double for you jackasses who are commenting to yourselves right now. You know who you are.

• That lowdown thieving POS who somehow boosted my $220 Shure Beta 87A condenser vocal microphone right out of my equipment bag while I was performing. I have video of everyone that was there that night. You best keep your mouth shut, and hope to God I don't find out who you are.

　
　
Your station for all misanthropy, all the time.
　
　
Dub'

Things that piss me off - Pt. XX

• 1/3 lb. "gourmet" burger joints. They ain't all that. Merely an expensive snack; I make and dress bigger burgers at home.

• Burger joints that charge for extra condiments.

• Cold wind and cold rain on June 8th.

• Commuters who complain about missing a bus, because it arrived 5 minutes early. Yo Einstein, first lesson in Bus Riding 101 - don't wait till the last minute, and read the fine print on the bus schedules. Try getting their 10 minutes early and you'll always be covered; whether the previous one is 5 minutes late, or the next one is 5 minutes early.

• Deep fried oysters. They're otherwise yummy; but there's the prospect of nuclear-hot oyster juice beneath the surface of the breading, just waiting to be released somewhere upon your face.

• Helping someone who needs a "quick favor" on a beautiful weekend day by helping to go pick up a free playhouse for their kid; and finding out it weighs 600 lbs., is 12 feet tall, and you spend the rest of the day dismantling it board by board, just so you can offload it from the truck.

• And while we're on the subject, paying (out of your pocket) the driver the 30 bucks needed for his delivery and gas needs, and an additional 30 bucks for 1/2 inch rope to secure the monstrous playhouse - and still not getting paid back yet.  That's a hell of a favor for a "free" playhouse.

• NBA playoff hype. Who the hell cares? The NBA is lame; I'd rather watch hockey.

• Speculators who somehow see their way past my disclaimer. Yeah! You made it for certain into my blog this time! Now remember… "meant for entertainment".

• This damn bleach hi-lighted double mohawk. Blatantly ridiculous. I'm pushing 50 for chrissakes; not 15. It's gotta go...

　
　
Your station for all misanthropy, all the time.
　
　
Dub'

Oh The Irony! (Or is it just me?) - Pt. I

• An organization known as "San Diego Rock to Stop Violence" seeking to raise funds, by auctioning off a signed Muhammed Ali boxing glove.

• From the "Surely Sexualizing Young Women Has Never Led to Violence" Dept.: While we're on the subject, the same organization objectifying and sexualizing anorexic-looking young women, by holding an "open model casting" at the same benefit.

• A young mother with overly-active tykes, taking them to McDonald's in the hopes of tiring them out, and readying them for a nap. "Here, eat your breaded processed chicken parts dipped in high fructose corn syrup, drink your soda, and go play in the balls." That should do the trick.

• An overly outspoken teenage boy who publicly dishes dirt on everyone, instructing somebody on his Facebook page to "stop snitching".

• A disgraced cheater, referring to the women now interested in her ex, as "whores".

• Anthony Weiner. No explanation necessary.

• Conservative columnists advocating limitations on freedom of speech and expression, who are paid by organizations whose very existences are owed to freedom of speech.

Dub'

Things that piss me off - Pt. XIX

• A mutually and eagerly anticipated first date, which becomes a lesson in the realization that scores and scores of countless Facebook pokes just can't replace chemistry.

• Awkward social situations that you're expected to take part in, when you'd rather not.

• Being a nice guy, when you'd rather not be.

• Citing biblical scripture within the exact context in which it was authored, and then being told by a religious person that you're citing it out of context, because it doesn't fit within the dogmatic preconception which they were trained to accept without question in the first place.

• Last nights grocery bill. I know I indulged in a 6-pack of Hornsby's Hard Cider; but how the hell did I spend 35-40 bucks more than usual, and come home with less?

• Men who gloat at a poker table. That should be Man Commandment #11. Men who do this should be severely bitch-slapped.

• Neurotic women who let others corral them into things they wouldn't otherwise do, and then want you there as some sort of rock to fall back on when the music's over - when they could have just fucking said "NO" to begin with. Yo, you're sweet; but I don't do that gig anymore. Chalk it up to experience; apparently you needed some. Now take a Prozac.

• While being surrounded in a virtual sea of women, the one you would choose, and are most compatible with needing to keep you at an occasional arms distance. Schopenhauer nailed it.

• That the only way I can foresee getting my son to do his dishes is by giving him a stack of paper plates, and a garbage can.

• Those who manage to live rent free, and still somehow think that household chores should be distributed equally. Are you fucking kidding me?

　
　
Your station for all misanthropy, all the time.
　
　
Dub'