Wednesday, April 27, 2011

Dating, Consorting, & Relating

First off, I don't claim to be an expert; I've just got experience. Therefore I have an opinion. As the "perpetuator" of the species, a woman pretty much knows within the first five minutes of meeting, whether or not she wants to spend time with a particular man. That said, men need to see beyond their testosterone rush, and be able to identify and discern this all-important cue. Does she smile, or not? Does she look at you when the two of you speak, or look elsewhere? Is there a sparkle in her eyes, or does she have the look as though she's waiting in line somewhere? Cues. Simple cues. I can't count how many times I've seen dudes pushing it with a woman who's obviously - and visibly - not interested. It's sadly pathetic, and does nothing for your confidence; and confidence is what you need to succeed.

If she seems interested, and gives you her number - call her; but (and unless it's worked out beforehand) give it a little buffer period. Not too much; just enough for her to thoroughly ponder you. When it comes to the actual call - call her once, and only once. If you get the "I'm busy" bit, let it go, and don't call back. There are exceptions; but the general rule of thumb is that if a woman is interested in a man, she will make herself available to him. If she is indeed busy, and still interested, she will let you know; perhaps even suggest another time to get together. Anything other than this, just wipe your hands; turn and walk away. It's the most respectable move a man can make for himself in that situation.

Aiming high is an admirable trait in a man as well. That's perhaps one of my greatest weaknesses; but there's nothing quite like the prospect of striking gold that makes a man truly take stock of himself. Play up, and out of your league once in a while. It's very important also that you possess no tolerance for disrespectful behavior; don't allow yourself to become a doormat. Just walk away. Don't beg. Don't plead. Don't fret. Sometimes it takes a long time to learn these lessons; but I can assure you it's best to just turn your back, and save your dignity.

If OTOH you find yourself in a relationship, avoid complacency. Completely. Learn how to be unpredictable. That may sound odd, but it's the mundane routines which are threats to a relationship. If you recognize the onset of complacency, start mixing your signals. Shower her with affection, then back off for a while. Get in touch unexpectedly, then disappear for a bit. Don't go overboard; just keep her pleasantly surprised. Sometimes this means making yourself unavailable at times. You oftentimes hear women claim that they don't want any drama in their lives, but this is precisely the kind of dramatic challenge many of them crave. Sometimes this means showing an open interest in another woman. Whereas a man should never take a woman for granted, a man needs to stand up and demand the same for himself. Sometimes this is what it takes.

Lastly, it comes down to three (3) very simple things:

  1. Mutual admiration
  2. Mutual respect
  3. A mutual sense of wanting what's best for the other.

Without these three components, there is simply - nothing…

1 comment:

  1. Dubious I like your post so much .Being honest i don't even think of such facts while dating some one or have first meet.Now i always makes these things in my mind for next time.I am very grateful for these nice tips you suggested in post.