- People who demand "above and beyond" recognition, for merely satisfying what they were responsible for accomplishing in the first place. Yo, you were already paid to do your job. Don't expect more, and then throw a hissy fit when you didn't get it. Get it?
- Various women who've wanted me to tattoo their name somewhere on my body, and who subsequently have had no problem setting me aside and/or discarding me when it ultimately suited them. I mean, really now. Why don't we instead, discuss the prospect of each and every one of you tattooing my name on the inside of your upper thighs, and see how that goes over?
- Individuals who claim to be "in love" with more than one person. Yo, Einstein's. True love doesn't divide itself; it multiplies intrinsically. What you call "love", others call "on the side".
- Credit agencies who insist on full payment of outstanding balances; and then go out of their way to notate in your file that you're "unwilling to pay", when you suggest a payment plan as an efficient alternative. Fine then, don't take the good money I'm offering you right here and now. Doesn't matter if I have a job; so do you. Can you come up with $1200 *at the snap of a finger*, that hasn't already been budgeted elsewhere? Yippee, I have a job. That's why I sit in my treasury, doing nothing but rolling around in all my filthy money every night, when I'm done raking in all that cash I practically earned for nothing. Take a number instead, and get the fuck in line with everyone else. Then shut the fuck up, and stop calling me. Unreasonable morons.
- Engineers with Master Degrees (some of them, anyway). Sure, they can make a toaster fly; but can they actually fill out simple on-line forms, without me having to hold their hand for the next 20 minutes?
- Bands who "require" me to audition for them, when they still think playing Iron Maiden covers is actually in demand.
- And while we're on the subject, all those AC/DC "tribute" bands. What, you don't get enough AC/DC, by hearing them 900 times on the radio every day?
Trust and believe, there's more coming…