Wednesday, January 5, 2011

Things that piss me off

When you're in a hurry, and you somehow manage to pull up to that *one pump* that can only manage dispensing gas 30 cents at a time; and you have to sit there and manually pump over and over again.

Religious people who seem to have no problem blathering on and on about their dogmatic personal beliefs in a public forum, but get highly offended the moment you publically respond with historical facts that call their beliefs into question.
What happened to the time-honored tradition of exchanging ideas?

Idiots who feel the need to go all-in, pre-flop, with an off-suit J/2.

Being told you need anger management, when you're not even so much as ruffled.

Villanous-types who live only to take, and never give.

White wanna-be "thugs", who talk like they're black.

Bosses who micro-manage.

Incessant work meetings. Can you think of a greater waste of time and money?

HR Departments. Whose side are you really on?

When somebody knocks on the door, and I'm not expecting anyone. Why do you think we pay all this obscene amount of money for cell phone service? Just so you can show up unannounced on my door step?

People who can't walk from one room, into another, without placing their hands on the wall when turning the corner. Pet peeve.

Traditional goatees. Hint: it's been overkilled since the 1998 baseball season.

Cars with Arizona license plates taking up all the prime parking spots at Southern California beaches.

Liars and thieves. They go hand-in-hand.

Meaningless chain emails. Hint: They're neither funny, nor interesting; not to mention the collective time prospectively wasted by all 40 recipients on your list.

Gamers. I'm sorry, but I just never got past Asteroids.

Never once getting a foul ball, in the 41 years I've been going to professional baseball games. I did however have one pop out of the palm of my hand, and directly into the lap of a 5 year old sitting the next row. Little bastard.

Cheaters of all sorts.

Those cell phone hawkers at the kiosks in the mall. Leave me the fuck alone.

People who say "wow, you're tall!" (I'm 6'6"). No shit, Sherlock. And you're "bright".

People who can't toss out those plastic grocery bags. Yo, unless you have a dog to walk, what do you actually need them for?

People who can't treat others equally.

People who dig in their pockets for the exact change, down to the penny, when there's a dozen people waiting in line behind them.

Folding underwear and socks. That takes more time than doing the rest of the laundry itself.

And while we're on the subject, what's the deal with socks missing from the dryer? Where do they go? I've always wanted to invent a little washer/dryer-safe device that connects a pair of socks together for that purpose. Could make a million bucks.

People who habitually invoke logical fallacies when trying to convince you of something.

When a significant-other, because of my snoring, "nudges" me while I sleep. Yep, I guess we're both awake now.

My addiction to snooze-buttons.

Religious people who fail to understand that both Christmas and Easter were usurped Pagan holidays, and who are then offended when you point that out to them.

Feigned outrage.

People who get grossed out, because I put mayonaise on my peanut butter sandwiches and hot dog buns. Hey - it's bread. It's mayo. Get over it.

People with babies in a movie theatre. Hey, that's what Blockbuster and Red Box are for.

Fast food drive-thru intercoms.

And while we're on the subject, when did it become mandatory to place the *least English speaking* employee at the order window?

Habitual negativity.

Chicks who still think I'm nothing more than a piece of meat. Yeah yeah, I know, rough life. But hey, I'm pushing 50 now.

Knee-jerk reactionists.

Insomnia. Always hits when you can least afford it to.

When somebody places the toilet paper roll, rolling under.

Selecting the shortest line in the grocery store, and finding out it's because it's the slowest clerk; and watching the rest of the lines flow freely with shoppers who were there way after you.

Those damn overly loud commercials. I'm deaf, but I'm not THAT deaf. Jesus Christ almighty.

Uninformed anti-immigration bigots.

Otherwise physically fit people who have hardly (if ever) paid into Social Security; and who live on it, by drawing off of it.

The U.S. Prison Industrial Complex. It's not about "rehabilitation"; it's about job security and shareholder dividends. Just ask the more than 1 out of every 100 American's that can't escape its clutches - no matter how hard they try.

Career politicians.


The Lynnwood WA Police Department. How is this corrupt agency still accredited?

People (or unknown numbers) who continually call your cellphone, but won't leave a voicemail.

Seemingly "grown" men who wear their pants down past their ass; and are incredibly, wearing belts!

That after 6 years, there are people I know who I still couldn't tell you their names; but they all sure seem to know mine. Great. I feel like a schmuck.

Disney child stars.

"Best" friends who hang you out to dry. Hint: Friendship is a privilege. Don't use the term so loosely.

People who say "Nevermind". Hey, I'm frickin' deaf. It sometimes takes a few tries for me to understand clearly.

People in general. Enough said.

Heck, and that's not even scratching the surface…

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