Things that piss me off - Pt. VIII

• Guilt-trip laden Facebook posts which attempt to force us to perpetuate chain-messages, by declaring (something to the effect) that "MY friends will post this"; or "let's see who your REAL friends are". Yada Yada Yada.

• Misplaced anger.

• My attraction to women in peril.

• People whose anger comes before their thankfulness.

• People who'd rather die, than simply say "I'm sorry".

• Religious Facebook posts which attempt to convict you for eternity, based upon the posters belief. Usually something along the lines of "Forward this message if you believe Jesus is your personal Savior; if you don't, then you're denying Him", or something along those lines. Yo, it didn't turn out so bad for Peter, did it?

• Small talk with those I'm not intimate with. And dudes, a hint for you all. A firm handshake, a slight nod of the head, and a quick "wassup?"; and we're good to go. Maybe even a "how ya been?", followed by a quick pat on the back in passing. There's a reason I was heading in THIS direction, and you were heading in THAT one; and it wasn't to meet up. And it certainly wasn't to stand on our feet for the next 20 minutes talking to each other about stuff that doesn't matter. Short of just ignoring you and walking away, perhaps you hadn't noticed my many attempts at actually ending the conversation? 2 words: body language.

• That normal isn't.

• That while I'm sitting here in agonizing pain every single day, day in, day out; neither of my doctors so far want to be the ones responsible for actually prescribing anything to alleviate it. I don't like pills, and I'm not going to beg for them; but the pain is now beyond significant. Practitioner says it's up to the otolaryngologist, who in turn says it's up to the neurosurgeon; who I'm sure is going to say it's up to the cardiologist. Tell you what. I've got 80 cents, that oughta buy me a bullet; perhaps one of you would be kind enough to prescribe me a gun? Jesus Christ almighty.

　
Still brewing...
　
　
Dub'

Things that piss me off - Pt. VII

• Confused, and irresolute women who try to pressure me into being a side-project. Yo, in the words of the great Barry White - "I'm the first, the last, the everything". Maybe if I was young and dumb, and you were my sugar mama; but that's not the case. You had your shot, and you blew it big time. Now scram, we're closed for business.

• IRS analysts.

• Migraines, and everything that causes them.

• People pressuring me to do what I'd rather not.

• Sons, who call their fathers "dude". If I'd called my dad "dude", he would have looked at me like I lost my bloody freakin' mind; which would have started him off on one of his 10 minute lectures about the true nature of father/son relationships. I'm inclined to think he's right. Come to think of it, and in hindsight, he always was. How is it that he's managed to bat .1000 this whole time? Well, at least .994.

• That getting older means the more people you meet, the fewer friends you choose. Think about it.

• The name "Travis"; as it makes me want to vomit. If that's your name, don't even bother introducing yourself. That's just the way it is, and I don't owe you an explanation.

• The realization that at my age, and without a special bond involved, great sex is now only great sex.

• Those who think life is a one-way street of their own design.

• "Too little, too late".

Yes; always more forthcoming.  Stay tuned.


Dub'

Personality Assessment. Go on, give it a shot. I dare you. I'll even interpret the results.

1. You are walking down a path in the middle of a forest. Describe IN DETAIL what you see all around you; in addition to what lies before you.
2. As you proceed down the path, you notice a key on the ground. Describe in detail what you do when you see the key.
3. Continuing on, you notice a big bear walking on the path in your direction towards you. Describe in detail what it is you do.
4. You happen upon a waterfall. Describe the waterfall in detail; in addition to describing what you do at the waterfall.
5. Proceeding onward, you come to a wall. Describe the wall in detail; including what it is that you do when encountering the wall.

Any takers?


'Dub

Edited to add:
Apparently it's a psychology test, and here were my original answers:

1. It was a deep, dark forest, with a thick canopy. There were 2 shades of green in the trees; traditional forest green, and a nice light spring green. Though it was hot outside, the canopy provided relief from the heat. The strange thing about such an eco-system, there were no other signs of life within, except an occasional bird. The path was not wide, but very long. It went as far as my eyes could see into the forest, which turned into eventual blackness. The trees in their textured details were extremely beautiful, but their leaves were well out of reach due to their height.

2. I stopped, and picked up the key. I examined it closely, and then looked around to see if anybody else was nearby. Perhaps the owner of the key. Perhaps there was a house nearby to offer shelter. I then proceeded to continue walking, all the while rubbing the key within my palm and fingers, until it was very warm. I held onto it tightly whilst I continued my journey.

3. Upon seeing the bear come straight for me, I took a 90 degree turn off the path, traversing a perpendicular path to that of the bear, all the while keeping my eyes on him. As soon as the threat of the bear diminished, I again took another 90 degree turn back in the original direction I was going, but now blazing my own trail, instead of the path I was originally on.

4. It's a very tall waterfall, surrounded by rocks. It falls into an apparently bottomless pool of cool, clean water. I immediately begin climbing the rocks, until I reach the top - about 40 feet, or so. I'm out of the canopy of the forest now, so I undress in the warm sunshine, and proceed to dive out over the waterfall into the water below. I feel the mist upon my face, and smile. I proceed to re-climb again, and sit there in the warm sunshine, and take in some nourishment and reflective time, before proceeding on.

5. I chance upon the wall. It's very old, and very long - as far as the eye can see. The stone are large, and slightly moss-covered. Though it is definitely a barrier, I proceed to toss my backpack up onto the top, and then I scale the wall manually, and gruelingly until I reach the top myself. I stand on the top, and scan the horizon. I see lush meadows, and a huge undisturbed lake, with serene mountains in the background. It looks to be paradise. I toss my backpack to the ground on the other side, and quickly jump down myself - coming out of my jump in a roll, and pop up standing. I pick up my backpack, and begin running towards all that I saw.

Things that piss me off - Pt. VI

• People who don't care.

• People who let others down in the worst way, and then complain that those they let down are now somehow different.

• People who take delight in kicking others while they're down.

• Straw man arguments.

• Women from bad marriages who try to seduce you, get angry at you for turning them down; then blame you for "ruining their marriage" when their husbands find out. Bitch, are you for real?

• That at my age, I have to at times, resort to being an asshole in order to protect my interests. Apparently word hasn't gotten out yet that I'm not the sucker ya'll still think I am. Hint: I'm not. Deal with it; but don't bitch and moan about how I've changed, when this kind of change is exactly what I needed to protect myself from you.

• The fact that I can't seem to escape the "it's complicated" status.

• That at times, I still have to walk around my neighborhood with a smiley in my back pocket.

• Those who rationalize to the nth degree; and usually at your expense.

• Vainly fighting uphill battles for people that help stack the deck against you; and then being told afterwards that you "didn't put up a fight".

• When bad people somehow continually elude justice.

• The prospect of neoplasia looming over my head. I hope this one disappears off my list.

　
　　
Ya'll know the drill...
Dub'

A Source of Pain

Well, well, well.  After enduring for months, these damned ceaseless migraines, I finally get introduced today to The Cause.  I had an MRI last Friday; and tonight my doctor quietly prompts me into an adjoining room.  "They found something".  Wow.  Just like that.  I wasn't even prepared to discuss it yet; just got there.  I still had a hearing test to undergo before we were gonna get to THAT.  But, oh well.  Wow.  So now, gotta sit there and try and make out the faintest of sounds imaginable, all while the inside of my head whistles and hums; and now this.  Jeez Doc, couldn't that have waited a few minutes.  But...let's remain positive.  Smile.  Don't think the worst.  Fortunately, it wasn't; but it's still cause for concern, apparently.  Turns out I have a "growth of some sort" on my upper left sinus.  Over a full inch in circumference, and about an inch and a half in length.  "How long have you been having these migraines?" she asks.  I remind her that it's been about 6 months; give or take.  Visible wince.  "Well, we're scheduling you to see a specialist; one who can conduct the biopsy, and make the proper determination."  Okay now.  Uh huh.  Biopsy.  Sinus.  Don't know about you, but that sounds a tad more complex than simply scraping a basal cell on my skin.  Anyhow, guess I'm about to find out; and I hope for the best.  But I was curious as to what my doctor meant, when the last thing she told me tonight was "Coming here may have saved your life."  Really?  MAY have?  What is meant by something like that?  Maybe I'm just new to all this doctor stuff, but that doesn't sound good to me.  And I'm torn between whether I did the right thing by going; or would I be better off within the bliss of ignorance?  I've always said that I can't stand going to doctors.

Hopefully it's nothing...

Dub'

What are YOUR "big rocks"?

Most of you have probably read this at one time, or another; but it's one of those lessons I feel bears repeating every once in a while. Though the lesson was taught by an expert in time management, the lesson itself obviously applies to life in general, and our ability as individuals to prioritize.

　One day, an expert in time management was speaking to a group of business students and, to drive home a point, used an illustration those students will never forget.

 

As he stood in front of the group of high-powered overachievers he said, "Okay, time for a quiz" and he pulled out a one-gallon, mason jar and set it on the table in front of him. He also produced about a dozen fist-sized rocks and carefully placed them, one at a time, into the jar. When the jar was filled to the top and no more rocks would fit inside, he asked, "Is this jar full?

 

"Everyone in the class yelled, "Yes."

 

The time management expert replied, "Really?"

He reached under the table and pulled out a bucket of gravel. He dumped some gravel in and shook the jar causing pieces of gravel to work themselves down into the spaces between the big rocks. He then asked the group once more, "Is the jar full?"

 

By this time the class was on to him. "Probably not," one of them answered.

 

"Good!" he replied. He reached under the table and brought out a bucket of sand. He started dumping the sand in the jar and it went into all of the spaces left between the rocks and the gravel. Once more he asked the question, "Is this jar full?"

 

"No!" the class shouted.

 

Once again he said, "Good."

Then he grabbed a pitcher of water and began to pour it in until the jar was filled to the brim. Then he looked at the class and asked, "What is the point of this illustration?

 

An eager student raised his hand and said, "The point is, no matter how full your schedule is, if you try really hard you can always fit some more things in it!"

 

"No," the speaker replied, "That's not the point. The truth this illustration teaches us is: If you don't put the big rocks in first, you'll never get them in at all. What are the 'big rocks' in your life? Time with your loved ones, your faith, your education, your dreams, a worthy cause, teaching or mentoring others? Remember to put these BIG ROCKS in first or you'll never get them in at all."

 

So, tonight, or in the morning, when you are reflecting on this short story, ask yourself this question: What are the 'big rocks' in my life? Then, put those in your jar first.

　
So people… what ARE the big rocks in your life? At the expense of sounding like I'm generalizing, I think a great many people (myself included) fill our jars with gravel first; and perhaps a little sand. I've thought about it a little bit, and I think this is what we're looking at:
　

• Big rocks = Security; i.e. family, home, work/finances, health
• Gravel = Purpose; i.e. essential interpersonal relationships & goals
• Sand = Freedom & Choice; i.e. non-essential relationships & goals, hobbies, interests, etc.
• Water = The non-essentials; i.e. whatever's left-over.

　
Now, if I can only manage facing those big rocks, and put them in their place…
　
　
Dub'

 

Things that piss me off - Pt. V

• Angry people who have no idea what they're talking about, and act out as if they do.

• Being hung out to dry.

• Deception.

• Disrespect, where respect has been earned.

• Gratuitous public humiliation.

• How every single time I choose a new female doctor with a hot-sounding name, she winds up looking like someones older lesbian aunt. Not that there's anything wrong with that. Just sayin'. ;)

• Judging people based upon the words and actions of others; and without finding out the first-hand facts for yourself.

• Knee-jerk reactionists. Oh yeah - I already documented that one. Well, allow me to freakin' re-emphasize it then!

• Routinely unreasonable people.

　
Stay tuned...
Dub'

Who, or What is God?

First things first. I do NOT claim to know the answer to this question; therefore this isn't a Christian hit-piece, nor some looney athiest rant. I am simply a human being who doesn’t have all the answers; and am not completely satisfied with the answers I've been provided with during the course of my life. There you have it. Does that help clarify my position? And just so we're absolutely CLEAR, I would much rather offend an athiest, than to offend a person of faith; so this isn't about impugning anyones beliefs - cherished or otherwise.

Now, that said, I believe God exists.

There you have it. I'm a God-believer. Problem is, this not only doesn't end the discussion; it actually complicates it. When I say I believe in God, I'm not necessarily referring to the time-honored traditional version that upwards of 84% of American's believe in. That not only makes me a minority, that makes me an ULTRA-minority; for I believe the majority of the remaining 16% don't believe in God at all. Not all, but most.

Confused? Don't be. Allow me to explain. What do most God-believers think that God is? Is God a bearded, white-robed man of benevolence, sitting on a throne in the sky, who is his own son, and concerning himself with the fates and actions of billions upon billions of culture-bearing primates which have resided for scores of thousands of years on the 3rd planet from our sun? Or might God simply be a harmonious, albeit abstract entity of some sort, which exists within all of nature? Who, or what is The Creator?

Anyone care to comment?
　
'Dub

Things that piss me off - Pt. IV

• When you date somebody, and they slowly and methodically start moving personal items of theirs into your house; and then one day toss out the "swell" idea of "adorning" your home with some of their furniture. Uhhhh, that's called "moving in" - for good.

• Guys who come sniffing around your girlfriend when you're not around. These opportunists are known to me as "mongrels".

• Girlfriends who encourage them.

• Fairweather "friends" working an angle, at your expense.

• Women who scorn my lifestyle, and have the audacity to assume some sort of "moral high ground"; but only after I've avoided their numerous and solicitous advances to "get together".

• Nausiatingly incessant and daily cardboard cut-out "positive", "feel-good" posts by *particular* people who wouldn't know what real life problems were if they came up and slapped them in the face. Yo, move out of your parents house, go try living in a van down by the river for a while; then come back and tell us all just how rosy things can be if we "stay positive" and "keep trying".

• People who need something from you, promise to pay their own way, decline to do so as soon as they've got what they want; then go off on public tangents with rants about "The nerve of some people". Bitch, please. You wanna talk "nerve"? Take a look in the mirror.

• Having to fast for 12 hours before a morning medical appointment; and then being told by your boss right beforehand to move it to after business hours that day, because we're short-handed today. Great. Just went from 12 hours, to a 21 hour fast.

• Being told by doctors that you have a *unique* way of thinking and processing information; but that it's "okay", and that "there's nothing wrong with that". Great. Now ya'll made me feel like Rainman.

　
As usual, stay tuned...
　
　
Dub'

Things that piss me off - Pt. III

Friends who give your cell phone number to somebody you don't even know; and who in turn calls you on a Sunday morning with an unsolicited "investment opportunity". I mean, WTF? Am I really that big of a sucker, to where in order to avoid this guy, you gave him MY number instead? I'll not forget that one, dip-wad.

Friends who've owed you $2400 (plus interest) for the past 6 years, and who walk around town bragging about their $90,000/year jobs, and have no kids or other money-pits to spend it on - and still don't pay you.

The fact that I allow schmucks like this to remain upright, and breathing.

People who only want to discuss THEIR opinions, and somehow feel they have the right to avoid anybody elses opinion on the matter that doesn't jive with theirs - namely, mine. And further, don't have the cajones to tell me directly; but instead go thru family or friends to tell me to stop giving my opinion on their opinions. Hint: Write a fucking blog then; otherwise be prepared to back up your claims on a public forum. See that little button below your post; the one that says "Comment"? That link belongs to me; and I invoke my right to click it.

Being told I'm a nice guy, with a big heart (seriously!). The more I hear that, the less often I actually feel like it. It's not like it's ever gotten me anywhere. Hopefully this blog will change your mind. Either that, or change mine.

When my son deletes my comments. That says it all, right there. My dad never minced words with me in public; and HIS dad sure as hell never did either. 3 words: Suck it up.

Unreasonably thin-skinned people.

Friends requests from people and names I don't recognize; yet who incredibly, share mutual friends with me. Am I that anti-social, to where I literally don't recognize people that I've obviously known? Or am I in the early stages of dementia?

Gratuitous anger and/or hostility. Hey, there's nothing wrong with letting the world know how you feel once in a while; but how the hell is it possible for EVERYTHING to piss you off?  One word: "Goo-sfra-ba"

Dirtbag parasites who choose to raise their standard of living on account of the benevolence (or stupidity) of others; and then who complain to their benefactors once the bottom of their unsustainable path ultimately caves in. Hey, savor the flavor asshole. Now shut the fuck up and get a job; cuz' it'll never get better for you than this.

The fact that after almost 4 months, my Z28 is still in the freakin' body shop.

5 month winters of the Pacific Northwest, compared to the 2 month summers. I don't mind the cold; it's the constant darkness that's a buzz-kill.

Football players (especially quarterbacks) who point to God when they score a touchdown. Yo, God doesn't overly-involve himself in all that much as it is; why the hell would he care about football?  Hint: He doesn't.

False senses of moral "superiority", and feigned moral outrage.

Deep emotional scar tissue that doesn't seem to heal.
　
More to come…
　
Dub'

Simplify, Select, and Persuade

Been a "nice guy" most of my life. It's how I was raised. Primarily by my mother and my older sister; weekends with dad. I learned early how to appease, and not rock the boat. How to seek approval with women in my life. Took me years to figure out; hell - decades. But when it comes to us "nice guys", there are 3 universal truths: A) We're "nice", because we've set expectations to be treated nicely in return; and to achieve something on account of it. But… B) Being "nice" never got us anywhere, nor accomplished anything. Therefore… C) We're gonna blow our freakin' lid one day, on account of bottling up all that frustration which comes with a lifetime of having your expectations dashed. So I've slowly been learning to simplify. To stop seeking approval. To sometimes just say "no"; and other times don't say anything at all. It's not easy at first; but I'll tell you what, all you need is the tailspin of a life-altering situation to help you see the light. I'm here to tell you that you don't need to wait for that; just open your eyes, and see the truth. All you "nice" guys, you "third wheels", you "shiftless dreamers". You appeasers.
　
First off, stop caring what other people think of you. This isn't the same as being an asshole to others; this simply means allowing others to feel the way they feel about you for their OWN reasons. You can't control what others think and say; so why should you worry about it? Now, don't go off being an asshole to people, and then say "I don't care". You should always care about how you treat people; but your first concern should always involve how you treat yourself. This is not the same as being selfish; it's about being strong. About building a solid foundation for yourself. You can't be strong for others, if you're not strong for yourself first. Just like they teach you when you board a plane; attend to your own oxygen mask first, before helping somebody with theirs. One of the secrets to fortifying your foundations is selectivity. Don't surround yourself with scores of people. The more people you surround yourself with, the bigger the target on your back; and the greater the opportunity for someone to step forward and stick the proverbial knife into it. Simplify. Identify those select few in whom you trust; those select few who truly have your best interests at heart. That's your foundation right there; not all those dozens of fairweather "friends" who yuck it up in social settings. You're only as strong as the people you choose to surround yourself with; and the more people that surround you, the weaker the foundation becomes. I look at people in 3 simple categories; or "levels". Think of it like a pyramid. The top tier is the smallest, but the most important. Your strength is found in this tier; and should include only those who have your best interests in mind. The 2nd tier opens up wider, and generally includes people in whom you are very cordial and friendly with; but these people are kept at an arms distance. Not so that they'd know it - but that you'd know it. Some people may work their way up to the 1st tier; but you'll realize that most of those in the 2nd tier belong there for a reason. The 3rd tier is simple; ALL OTHERS. Don't give em' the time of day; unless they somehow earn their way into the 2nd tier.
　
But on the far side of that, sometimes it becomes downright necessary for a man to draw a personal line in the sand; bordering even on intimidation. It can be a very useful psychological tool; but just like anything else, one needs to learn how to manage doling it out effectively. Intimidation doesn't mean going around verbally and emotionally abusing people; it's a very fine line. First off, learn to keep those in whom you deal with on edge; on their heels. Remain rational; and convey that you are to be taken seriously, without being a hard-ass. Those who scoff, or don't take you seriously, put them squarely behind you for good; 3rd tier baby. You'll begin to respect yourself more on account of it; and you'll find that others begin to respect you more as well. With your kids, quit trying to be their friends. This is a big mistake I made years ago; being my son's "buddy". He's worse off today on account of it; we both are. Quit telling your kids to try their best, and instead PUSH them to DO their best. Needless to say, sometimes my son doesn't like me as much anymore; but eventually I realize he LOVES and RESPECTS me even more than ever.
　
Dub'

Beneath the Surface of Contagion

Beneath the surface, the cancer lies; and with a smile I've deceived your eyes.  Upon the surface, the bandage placed; the skin of the apple thus ready to taste. Despite such a dressing, the nether decays; must mend from the inside. Renounce the malaise. Along a furrow travelled so deep and long, redemption reigns... within a song. Blood travels thickened through days long and cold; the Hydra will prosper when she's uncontrolled.  Despite my amusement, you continue misled; your search for an answer remains in my head. Before abiding lights return again so wise, reality must first materialize.

Beneath the surface of contagion, that blight retains its grip on me.  Upon the surface of contagion, I will rise once more, I'll ascend again - be free!  Like the Phoenix, I'll be free. This thing won’t bury me. Like the Phoenix, I'll rise free. 

When loves lifting powers they seem to embrace, time proves the victor each time they’re displaced.  When positioned to pierce its infirmity, disorder drops coldly to dishearten me.  And yet again the brightness that I yearn may one day end the sequence; forbidden to return.

Beneath the surface of contagion; that blight retains its grip on me.  Upon the surface of contagion; I will rise once more, I'll ascend again be free!  Like the Phoenix, I'll be free. This thing won’t bury me. Like the Phoenix, I'll rise free.

Things that piss me off - Pt. II

• People who demand "above and beyond" recognition, for merely satisfying what they were responsible for accomplishing in the first place. Yo, you were already paid to do your job. Don't expect more, and then throw a hissy fit when you didn't get it. Get it?

• Various women who've wanted me to tattoo their name somewhere on my body, and who subsequently have had no problem setting me aside and/or discarding me when it ultimately suited them. I mean, really now. Why don't we instead, discuss the prospect of each and every one of you tattooing my name on the inside of your upper thighs, and see how that goes over?

• Individuals who claim to be "in love" with more than one person. Yo, Einstein's. True love doesn't divide itself; it multiplies intrinsically. What you call "love", others call "on the side".

• Credit agencies who insist on full payment of outstanding balances; and then go out of their way to notate in your file that you're "unwilling to pay", when you suggest a payment plan as an efficient alternative. Fine then, don't take the good money I'm offering you right here and now. Doesn't matter if I have a job; so do you. Can you come up with $1200 *at the snap of a finger*, that hasn't already been budgeted elsewhere? Yippee, I have a job. That's why I sit in my treasury, doing nothing but rolling around in all my filthy money every night, when I'm done raking in all that cash I practically earned for nothing. Take a number instead, and get the fuck in line with everyone else. Then shut the fuck up, and stop calling me. Unreasonable morons.

• Engineers with Master Degrees (some of them, anyway). Sure, they can make a toaster fly; but can they actually fill out simple on-line forms, without me having to hold their hand for the next 20 minutes?

• Bands who "require" me to audition for them, when they still think playing Iron Maiden covers is actually in demand.

• And while we're on the subject, all those AC/DC "tribute" bands. What, you don't get enough AC/DC, by hearing them 900 times on the radio every day?

• Betrayal.

　
Trust and believe, there's more coming…
　
Dub'

Things that piss me off

When you're in a hurry, and you somehow manage to pull up to that *one pump* that can only manage dispensing gas 30 cents at a time; and you have to sit there and manually pump over and over again.

Religious people who seem to have no problem blathering on and on about their dogmatic personal beliefs in a public forum, but get highly offended the moment you publically respond with historical facts that call their beliefs into question.
What happened to the time-honored tradition of exchanging ideas?

Idiots who feel the need to go all-in, pre-flop, with an off-suit J/2.

Being told you need anger management, when you're not even so much as ruffled.

Villanous-types who live only to take, and never give.

White wanna-be "thugs", who talk like they're black.

Bosses who micro-manage.

Incessant work meetings. Can you think of a greater waste of time and money?

HR Departments. Whose side are you really on?

When somebody knocks on the door, and I'm not expecting anyone. Why do you think we pay all this obscene amount of money for cell phone service? Just so you can show up unannounced on my door step?

People who can't walk from one room, into another, without placing their hands on the wall when turning the corner. Pet peeve.

Traditional goatees. Hint: it's been overkilled since the 1998 baseball season.

Cars with Arizona license plates taking up all the prime parking spots at Southern California beaches.

Liars and thieves. They go hand-in-hand.

Meaningless chain emails. Hint: They're neither funny, nor interesting; not to mention the collective time prospectively wasted by all 40 recipients on your list.

Gamers. I'm sorry, but I just never got past Asteroids.

Never once getting a foul ball, in the 41 years I've been going to professional baseball games. I did however have one pop out of the palm of my hand, and directly into the lap of a 5 year old sitting the next row. Little bastard.

Cheaters of all sorts.

Those cell phone hawkers at the kiosks in the mall. Leave me the fuck alone.

People who say "wow, you're tall!" (I'm 6'6"). No shit, Sherlock. And you're "bright".

People who can't toss out those plastic grocery bags. Yo, unless you have a dog to walk, what do you actually need them for?

People who can't treat others equally.

People who dig in their pockets for the exact change, down to the penny, when there's a dozen people waiting in line behind them.

Folding underwear and socks. That takes more time than doing the rest of the laundry itself.

And while we're on the subject, what's the deal with socks missing from the dryer? Where do they go? I've always wanted to invent a little washer/dryer-safe device that connects a pair of socks together for that purpose. Could make a million bucks.

People who habitually invoke logical fallacies when trying to convince you of something.

When a significant-other, because of my snoring, "nudges" me while I sleep. Yep, I guess we're both awake now.

My addiction to snooze-buttons.

Religious people who fail to understand that both Christmas and Easter were usurped Pagan holidays, and who are then offended when you point that out to them.

Feigned outrage.

People who get grossed out, because I put mayonaise on my peanut butter sandwiches and hot dog buns. Hey - it's bread. It's mayo. Get over it.

People with babies in a movie theatre. Hey, that's what Blockbuster and Red Box are for.

Fast food drive-thru intercoms.

And while we're on the subject, when did it become mandatory to place the *least English speaking* employee at the order window?

Habitual negativity.

Chicks who still think I'm nothing more than a piece of meat. Yeah yeah, I know, rough life. But hey, I'm pushing 50 now.

Knee-jerk reactionists.

Insomnia. Always hits when you can least afford it to.

When somebody places the toilet paper roll, rolling under.

Selecting the shortest line in the grocery store, and finding out it's because it's the slowest clerk; and watching the rest of the lines flow freely with shoppers who were there way after you.

Those damn overly loud commercials. I'm deaf, but I'm not THAT deaf. Jesus Christ almighty.

Uninformed anti-immigration bigots.

Otherwise physically fit people who have hardly (if ever) paid into Social Security; and who live on it, by drawing off of it.

The U.S. Prison Industrial Complex. It's not about "rehabilitation"; it's about job security and shareholder dividends. Just ask the more than 1 out of every 100 American's that can't escape its clutches - no matter how hard they try.

Career politicians.

Homophobes.

The Lynnwood WA Police Department. How is this corrupt agency still accredited?

People (or unknown numbers) who continually call your cellphone, but won't leave a voicemail.

Seemingly "grown" men who wear their pants down past their ass; and are incredibly, wearing belts!

That after 6 years, there are people I know who I still couldn't tell you their names; but they all sure seem to know mine. Great. I feel like a schmuck.

Disney child stars.

"Best" friends who hang you out to dry. Hint: Friendship is a privilege. Don't use the term so loosely.

People who say "Nevermind". Hey, I'm frickin' deaf. It sometimes takes a few tries for me to understand clearly.

People in general. Enough said.
　

Heck, and that's not even scratching the surface…
　
Dub'

Perhaps this explains a lot

I’ve often wondered why I am who I am; why I turned out the way I did.  Don’t get me wrong, I’m not a bad person; I’m actually a very decent person with a big heart.  But sometimes it’s just too damn big for my own good.  I love both sides of my family.  A branch of my paternal family were of Scottish heritage (the name Riddle derives from “Rye dale”, or valley of rye – I think); and tended to keep their chins to their chests, and their emotions in check.  Not that they weren’t emotional; just that they kept outbursts to virtually nil.  This was perhaps because my grandmother (my Shasha) had to raise 5 boys mostly on her own, while Grand Dad was a lifelong Navy man.  She also managed to do this, while her mother-in-law lived with her for some 40 years, or so.  Patience was what I beheld in this saint of a woman, and I believe it rubbed off on her progeny.  OTOH, a branch of my maternal family was of Irish heritage; and a little more inclined to wearing their hearts on their sleeves.  My maternal grandmother (Mama Brucie) was very emotional; and I believe a lot of her rubbed off directly onto me.  It didn’t matter if she was sad, or happy; tears would flow freely whenever family got together.  This was always a source of confusion for me growing up – one side of my family keeping it in, and one side of my family freely letting it out.  I too find myself misty-eyed, even when I’m happy.  Just like my Mama Brucie. Perhaps it’s because I’m getting older and more sentimental, but the gist of who I feel I am today is probably best not explained by those who I’ve surrounded myself with; rather it’s more than likely based upon who’s been missing.  My mother.

I haven’t seen my mother in perhaps 18-19 years.  I believe it all started when I went to move in with my father at the age of (almost) 15.  It was one of *those things*; a boy maturing into a young man, and who required his own opinion on things.  I don’t think it was too much to ask for; but apparently it was, and off I was sent packing to my father.  My mother then proceeded to move out of state, and into a whole new life.  She worked in her career for a while, and then eventually began to move around the country a lot.  Colorado, Oklahoma, Hawaii.  I think Tennessee may have been in there at one point; and a bit of world traveling.  Anyhow, ever since I was fifteen years old, I can literally count on one hand (including the year I briefly lived in Colorado when I was 18) the periods I’ve seen my mother.  Scratch that, make it a half-dozen; I went out to see her graduate from Seminary College back before I was married.  Anyhow, the last time I saw my mother was when my son was either 2 or 3.  He's now 21. There were perhaps some bullshit reasons why there was so much distance between us at the time; but honest to God, I can’t remember anymore.  I miss my mother so much; but life has seemingly taken over, and we're running out of time, and there's so much space between us.  All I do know is that I miss her so much; and her absence in my life I now realize has created a hole within me that I don’t know I could ever span.  And the effect I now believe this has had on my relationships; well… perhaps that’s best left for another time.

Dub’

What precisely is love, anyway?

Some believe it’s a state wherein you put it all out there; all or nothing.  Others believe that merely caring for someone else, while having great sex, suffices.  Its obvious then that love cannot be pigeonholed; designated into a neat little package.  This would suggest perhaps that love is best determined by an individual’s propensity to love – and to be loved.  Yes, to be loved.  Just as the measure of how far a human can succeed based upon how far they must climb out of a hole, so too the propensity for a human’s capacity for loving others is determined by how much they are willing to be loved in turn.  Me?  Far from being a generalist, I believe love involves crucial components.  Admiration comes to mind, and I’m not talking sexual admiration; I’m talking about the kind of admiration expressed when you sense a simple wonder.   I’m talking about affection.  I don’t think love can exist without it.  You may find yourself caring for somebody; but do you feel a sense of warmhearted devotion towards them?  I also believe that true love is big on patience.   And let’s not overlook basic respect.  Being in love is a position of privilege; it comes with the acceptance of certain courtesies, and the ability to honor – while still remaining true to oneself.   I guess a major problem would be that a lot of people haven’t really figured out how to honor – much less love – themselves, much less others.  For the most part, I’m probably just as guilty as anybody could be when it comes to this; but I don’t think I’ve ever had a problem when it came to the feelings of others – and not feel like I’m short-changing myself.  If I didn’t care, I wouldn’t; which brings us to the subject of indifference.   Though we may have to detach ourselves at times out of sheer necessity; I do not believe that love and true indifference can survive each other.  It’s one, or the other; but I do not see how they could ever co-exist.  

Well, there you have it.  Mutual senses of admiration, respect, affection, courtesy and honor.  Oh, and a determination to want what’s best for another.  That’s the tricky one; and that opens up a whole other chapter.  Bottom line?  Love is best determined by the individual; and your propensity to love is equal to your propensity to be loved.

Dub’