Friends who give your cell phone number to somebody you don't even know; and who in turn calls you on a Sunday morning with an unsolicited "investment opportunity". I mean, WTF? Am I really that big of a sucker, to where in order to avoid this guy, you gave him MY number instead? I'll not forget that one, dip-wad.
Friends who've owed you $2400 (plus interest) for the past 6 years, and who walk around town bragging about their $90,000/year jobs, and have no kids or other money-pits to spend it on - and still don't pay you.
The fact that I allow schmucks like this to remain upright, and breathing.
People who only want to discuss THEIR opinions, and somehow feel they have the right to avoid anybody elses opinion on the matter that doesn't jive with theirs - namely, mine. And further, don't have the cajones to tell me directly; but instead go thru family or friends to tell me to stop giving my opinion on their opinions. Hint: Write a fucking blog then; otherwise be prepared to back up your claims on a public forum. See that little button below your post; the one that says "Comment"? That link belongs to me; and I invoke my right to click it.
Being told I'm a nice guy, with a big heart (seriously!). The more I hear that, the less often I actually feel like it. It's not like it's ever gotten me anywhere. Hopefully this blog will change your mind. Either that, or change mine.
When my son deletes my comments. That says it all, right there. My dad never minced words with me in public; and HIS dad sure as hell never did either. 3 words: Suck it up.
Unreasonably thin-skinned people.
Friends requests from people and names I don't recognize; yet who incredibly, share mutual friends with me. Am I that anti-social, to where I literally don't recognize people that I've obviously known? Or am I in the early stages of dementia?
Gratuitous anger and/or hostility. Hey, there's nothing wrong with letting the world know how you feel once in a while; but how the hell is it possible for EVERYTHING to piss you off? One word: "Goo-sfra-ba"
Dirtbag parasites who choose to raise their standard of living on account of the benevolence (or stupidity) of others; and then who complain to their benefactors once the bottom of their unsustainable path ultimately caves in. Hey, savor the flavor asshole. Now shut the fuck up and get a job; cuz' it'll never get better for you than this.
The fact that after almost 4 months, my Z28 is still in the freakin' body shop.
5 month winters of the Pacific Northwest, compared to the 2 month summers. I don't mind the cold; it's the constant darkness that's a buzz-kill.
Football players (especially quarterbacks) who point to God when they score a touchdown. Yo, God doesn't overly-involve himself in all that much as it is; why the hell would he care about football? Hint: He doesn't.
False senses of moral "superiority", and feigned moral outrage.
Deep emotional scar tissue that doesn't seem to heal.
More to come…
Dub'
Tuesday, January 18, 2011
Thursday, January 13, 2011
Simplify, Select, and Persuade
Been a "nice guy" most of my life. It's how I was raised. Primarily by my mother and my older sister; weekends with dad. I learned early how to appease, and not rock the boat. How to seek approval with women in my life. Took me years to figure out; hell - decades. But when it comes to us "nice guys", there are 3 universal truths: A) We're "nice", because we've set expectations to be treated nicely in return; and to achieve something on account of it. But… B) Being "nice" never got us anywhere, nor accomplished anything. Therefore… C) We're gonna blow our freakin' lid one day, on account of bottling up all that frustration which comes with a lifetime of having your expectations dashed. So I've slowly been learning to simplify. To stop seeking approval. To sometimes just say "no"; and other times don't say anything at all. It's not easy at first; but I'll tell you what, all you need is the tailspin of a life-altering situation to help you see the light. I'm here to tell you that you don't need to wait for that; just open your eyes, and see the truth. All you "nice" guys, you "third wheels", you "shiftless dreamers". You appeasers.
First off, stop caring what other people think of you. This isn't the same as being an asshole to others; this simply means allowing others to feel the way they feel about you for their OWN reasons. You can't control what others think and say; so why should you worry about it? Now, don't go off being an asshole to people, and then say "I don't care". You should always care about how you treat people; but your first concern should always involve how you treat yourself. This is not the same as being selfish; it's about being strong. About building a solid foundation for yourself. You can't be strong for others, if you're not strong for yourself first. Just like they teach you when you board a plane; attend to your own oxygen mask first, before helping somebody with theirs. One of the secrets to fortifying your foundations is selectivity. Don't surround yourself with scores of people. The more people you surround yourself with, the bigger the target on your back; and the greater the opportunity for someone to step forward and stick the proverbial knife into it. Simplify. Identify those select few in whom you trust; those select few who truly have your best interests at heart. That's your foundation right there; not all those dozens of fairweather "friends" who yuck it up in social settings. You're only as strong as the people you choose to surround yourself with; and the more people that surround you, the weaker the foundation becomes. I look at people in 3 simple categories; or "levels". Think of it like a pyramid. The top tier is the smallest, but the most important. Your strength is found in this tier; and should include only those who have your best interests in mind. The 2nd tier opens up wider, and generally includes people in whom you are very cordial and friendly with; but these people are kept at an arms distance. Not so that they'd know it - but that you'd know it. Some people may work their way up to the 1st tier; but you'll realize that most of those in the 2nd tier belong there for a reason. The 3rd tier is simple; ALL OTHERS. Don't give em' the time of day; unless they somehow earn their way into the 2nd tier.
But on the far side of that, sometimes it becomes downright necessary for a man to draw a personal line in the sand; bordering even on intimidation. It can be a very useful psychological tool; but just like anything else, one needs to learn how to manage doling it out effectively. Intimidation doesn't mean going around verbally and emotionally abusing people; it's a very fine line. First off, learn to keep those in whom you deal with on edge; on their heels. Remain rational; and convey that you are to be taken seriously, without being a hard-ass. Those who scoff, or don't take you seriously, put them squarely behind you for good; 3rd tier baby. You'll begin to respect yourself more on account of it; and you'll find that others begin to respect you more as well. With your kids, quit trying to be their friends. This is a big mistake I made years ago; being my son's "buddy". He's worse off today on account of it; we both are. Quit telling your kids to try their best, and instead PUSH them to DO their best. Needless to say, sometimes my son doesn't like me as much anymore; but eventually I realize he LOVES and RESPECTS me even more than ever.
Dub'
First off, stop caring what other people think of you. This isn't the same as being an asshole to others; this simply means allowing others to feel the way they feel about you for their OWN reasons. You can't control what others think and say; so why should you worry about it? Now, don't go off being an asshole to people, and then say "I don't care". You should always care about how you treat people; but your first concern should always involve how you treat yourself. This is not the same as being selfish; it's about being strong. About building a solid foundation for yourself. You can't be strong for others, if you're not strong for yourself first. Just like they teach you when you board a plane; attend to your own oxygen mask first, before helping somebody with theirs. One of the secrets to fortifying your foundations is selectivity. Don't surround yourself with scores of people. The more people you surround yourself with, the bigger the target on your back; and the greater the opportunity for someone to step forward and stick the proverbial knife into it. Simplify. Identify those select few in whom you trust; those select few who truly have your best interests at heart. That's your foundation right there; not all those dozens of fairweather "friends" who yuck it up in social settings. You're only as strong as the people you choose to surround yourself with; and the more people that surround you, the weaker the foundation becomes. I look at people in 3 simple categories; or "levels". Think of it like a pyramid. The top tier is the smallest, but the most important. Your strength is found in this tier; and should include only those who have your best interests in mind. The 2nd tier opens up wider, and generally includes people in whom you are very cordial and friendly with; but these people are kept at an arms distance. Not so that they'd know it - but that you'd know it. Some people may work their way up to the 1st tier; but you'll realize that most of those in the 2nd tier belong there for a reason. The 3rd tier is simple; ALL OTHERS. Don't give em' the time of day; unless they somehow earn their way into the 2nd tier.
But on the far side of that, sometimes it becomes downright necessary for a man to draw a personal line in the sand; bordering even on intimidation. It can be a very useful psychological tool; but just like anything else, one needs to learn how to manage doling it out effectively. Intimidation doesn't mean going around verbally and emotionally abusing people; it's a very fine line. First off, learn to keep those in whom you deal with on edge; on their heels. Remain rational; and convey that you are to be taken seriously, without being a hard-ass. Those who scoff, or don't take you seriously, put them squarely behind you for good; 3rd tier baby. You'll begin to respect yourself more on account of it; and you'll find that others begin to respect you more as well. With your kids, quit trying to be their friends. This is a big mistake I made years ago; being my son's "buddy". He's worse off today on account of it; we both are. Quit telling your kids to try their best, and instead PUSH them to DO their best. Needless to say, sometimes my son doesn't like me as much anymore; but eventually I realize he LOVES and RESPECTS me even more than ever.
Dub'
Monday, January 10, 2011
Beneath the Surface of Contagion
Beneath the surface, the cancer lies; and with a smile I've deceived your eyes. Upon the surface, the bandage placed; the skin of the apple thus ready to taste. Despite such a dressing, the nether decays; must mend from the inside. Renounce the malaise. Along a furrow travelled so deep and long, redemption reigns... within a song. Blood travels thickened through days long and cold; the Hydra will prosper when she's uncontrolled. Despite my amusement, you continue misled; your search for an answer remains in my head. Before abiding lights return again so wise, reality must first materialize.
Beneath the surface of contagion, that blight retains its grip on me. Upon the surface of contagion, I will rise once more, I'll ascend again - be free! Like the Phoenix Phoenix
When loves lifting powers they seem to embrace, time proves the victor each time they’re displaced. When positioned to pierce its infirmity, disorder drops coldly to dishearten me. And yet again the brightness that I yearn may one day end the sequence; forbidden to return.
Beneath the surface of contagion; that blight retains its grip on me. Upon the surface of contagion; I will rise once more, I'll ascend again be free! Like the Phoenix Phoenix
Friday, January 7, 2011
Things that piss me off - Pt. II
- People who demand "above and beyond" recognition, for merely satisfying what they were responsible for accomplishing in the first place. Yo, you were already paid to do your job. Don't expect more, and then throw a hissy fit when you didn't get it. Get it?
- Various women who've wanted me to tattoo their name somewhere on my body, and who subsequently have had no problem setting me aside and/or discarding me when it ultimately suited them. I mean, really now. Why don't we instead, discuss the prospect of each and every one of you tattooing my name on the inside of your upper thighs, and see how that goes over?
- Individuals who claim to be "in love" with more than one person. Yo, Einstein's. True love doesn't divide itself; it multiplies intrinsically. What you call "love", others call "on the side".
- Credit agencies who insist on full payment of outstanding balances; and then go out of their way to notate in your file that you're "unwilling to pay", when you suggest a payment plan as an efficient alternative. Fine then, don't take the good money I'm offering you right here and now. Doesn't matter if I have a job; so do you. Can you come up with $1200 *at the snap of a finger*, that hasn't already been budgeted elsewhere? Yippee, I have a job. That's why I sit in my treasury, doing nothing but rolling around in all my filthy money every night, when I'm done raking in all that cash I practically earned for nothing. Take a number instead, and get the fuck in line with everyone else. Then shut the fuck up, and stop calling me. Unreasonable morons.
- Engineers with Master Degrees (some of them, anyway). Sure, they can make a toaster fly; but can they actually fill out simple on-line forms, without me having to hold their hand for the next 20 minutes?
- Bands who "require" me to audition for them, when they still think playing Iron Maiden covers is actually in demand.
- And while we're on the subject, all those AC/DC "tribute" bands. What, you don't get enough AC/DC, by hearing them 900 times on the radio every day?
- Betrayal.
Trust and believe, there's more coming…
Dub'
Wednesday, January 5, 2011
Things that piss me off
When you're in a hurry, and you somehow manage to pull up to that *one pump* that can only manage dispensing gas 30 cents at a time; and you have to sit there and manually pump over and over again.
Religious people who seem to have no problem blathering on and on about their dogmatic personal beliefs in a public forum, but get highly offended the moment you publically respond with historical facts that call their beliefs into question.
What happened to the time-honored tradition of exchanging ideas?
Idiots who feel the need to go all-in, pre-flop, with an off-suit J/2.
Being told you need anger management, when you're not even so much as ruffled.
Villanous-types who live only to take, and never give.
White wanna-be "thugs", who talk like they're black.
Bosses who micro-manage.
Incessant work meetings. Can you think of a greater waste of time and money?
HR Departments. Whose side are you really on?
When somebody knocks on the door, and I'm not expecting anyone. Why do you think we pay all this obscene amount of money for cell phone service? Just so you can show up unannounced on my door step?
People who can't walk from one room, into another, without placing their hands on the wall when turning the corner. Pet peeve.
Traditional goatees. Hint: it's been overkilled since the 1998 baseball season.
Cars with Arizona license plates taking up all the prime parking spots at Southern California beaches.
Liars and thieves. They go hand-in-hand.
Meaningless chain emails. Hint: They're neither funny, nor interesting; not to mention the collective time prospectively wasted by all 40 recipients on your list.
Gamers. I'm sorry, but I just never got past Asteroids.
Never once getting a foul ball, in the 41 years I've been going to professional baseball games. I did however have one pop out of the palm of my hand, and directly into the lap of a 5 year old sitting the next row. Little bastard.
Cheaters of all sorts.
Those cell phone hawkers at the kiosks in the mall. Leave me the fuck alone.
People who say "wow, you're tall!" (I'm 6'6"). No shit, Sherlock. And you're "bright".
People who can't toss out those plastic grocery bags. Yo, unless you have a dog to walk, what do you actually need them for?
People who can't treat others equally.
People who dig in their pockets for the exact change, down to the penny, when there's a dozen people waiting in line behind them.
Folding underwear and socks. That takes more time than doing the rest of the laundry itself.
And while we're on the subject, what's the deal with socks missing from the dryer? Where do they go? I've always wanted to invent a little washer/dryer-safe device that connects a pair of socks together for that purpose. Could make a million bucks.
People who habitually invoke logical fallacies when trying to convince you of something.
When a significant-other, because of my snoring, "nudges" me while I sleep. Yep, I guess we're both awake now.
My addiction to snooze-buttons.
Religious people who fail to understand that both Christmas and Easter were usurped Pagan holidays, and who are then offended when you point that out to them.
Feigned outrage.
People who get grossed out, because I put mayonaise on my peanut butter sandwiches and hot dog buns. Hey - it's bread. It's mayo. Get over it.
People with babies in a movie theatre. Hey, that's what Blockbuster and Red Box are for.
Fast food drive-thru intercoms.
And while we're on the subject, when did it become mandatory to place the *least English speaking* employee at the order window?
Habitual negativity.
Chicks who still think I'm nothing more than a piece of meat. Yeah yeah, I know, rough life. But hey, I'm pushing 50 now.
Knee-jerk reactionists.
Insomnia. Always hits when you can least afford it to.
When somebody places the toilet paper roll, rolling under.
Selecting the shortest line in the grocery store, and finding out it's because it's the slowest clerk; and watching the rest of the lines flow freely with shoppers who were there way after you.
Those damn overly loud commercials. I'm deaf, but I'm not THAT deaf. Jesus Christ almighty.
Uninformed anti-immigration bigots.
Otherwise physically fit people who have hardly (if ever) paid into Social Security; and who live on it, by drawing off of it.
The U.S. Prison Industrial Complex. It's not about "rehabilitation"; it's about job security and shareholder dividends. Just ask the more than 1 out of every 100 American's that can't escape its clutches - no matter how hard they try.
Career politicians.
Homophobes.
The Lynnwood WA Police Department. How is this corrupt agency still accredited?
People (or unknown numbers) who continually call your cellphone, but won't leave a voicemail.
Seemingly "grown" men who wear their pants down past their ass; and are incredibly, wearing belts!
That after 6 years, there are people I know who I still couldn't tell you their names; but they all sure seem to know mine. Great. I feel like a schmuck.
Disney child stars.
"Best" friends who hang you out to dry. Hint: Friendship is a privilege. Don't use the term so loosely.
People who say "Nevermind". Hey, I'm frickin' deaf. It sometimes takes a few tries for me to understand clearly.
People in general. Enough said.
Heck, and that's not even scratching the surface…
Dub'
Religious people who seem to have no problem blathering on and on about their dogmatic personal beliefs in a public forum, but get highly offended the moment you publically respond with historical facts that call their beliefs into question.
What happened to the time-honored tradition of exchanging ideas?
Idiots who feel the need to go all-in, pre-flop, with an off-suit J/2.
Being told you need anger management, when you're not even so much as ruffled.
Villanous-types who live only to take, and never give.
White wanna-be "thugs", who talk like they're black.
Bosses who micro-manage.
Incessant work meetings. Can you think of a greater waste of time and money?
HR Departments. Whose side are you really on?
When somebody knocks on the door, and I'm not expecting anyone. Why do you think we pay all this obscene amount of money for cell phone service? Just so you can show up unannounced on my door step?
People who can't walk from one room, into another, without placing their hands on the wall when turning the corner. Pet peeve.
Traditional goatees. Hint: it's been overkilled since the 1998 baseball season.
Cars with Arizona license plates taking up all the prime parking spots at Southern California beaches.
Liars and thieves. They go hand-in-hand.
Meaningless chain emails. Hint: They're neither funny, nor interesting; not to mention the collective time prospectively wasted by all 40 recipients on your list.
Gamers. I'm sorry, but I just never got past Asteroids.
Never once getting a foul ball, in the 41 years I've been going to professional baseball games. I did however have one pop out of the palm of my hand, and directly into the lap of a 5 year old sitting the next row. Little bastard.
Cheaters of all sorts.
Those cell phone hawkers at the kiosks in the mall. Leave me the fuck alone.
People who say "wow, you're tall!" (I'm 6'6"). No shit, Sherlock. And you're "bright".
People who can't toss out those plastic grocery bags. Yo, unless you have a dog to walk, what do you actually need them for?
People who can't treat others equally.
People who dig in their pockets for the exact change, down to the penny, when there's a dozen people waiting in line behind them.
Folding underwear and socks. That takes more time than doing the rest of the laundry itself.
And while we're on the subject, what's the deal with socks missing from the dryer? Where do they go? I've always wanted to invent a little washer/dryer-safe device that connects a pair of socks together for that purpose. Could make a million bucks.
People who habitually invoke logical fallacies when trying to convince you of something.
When a significant-other, because of my snoring, "nudges" me while I sleep. Yep, I guess we're both awake now.
My addiction to snooze-buttons.
Religious people who fail to understand that both Christmas and Easter were usurped Pagan holidays, and who are then offended when you point that out to them.
Feigned outrage.
People who get grossed out, because I put mayonaise on my peanut butter sandwiches and hot dog buns. Hey - it's bread. It's mayo. Get over it.
People with babies in a movie theatre. Hey, that's what Blockbuster and Red Box are for.
Fast food drive-thru intercoms.
And while we're on the subject, when did it become mandatory to place the *least English speaking* employee at the order window?
Habitual negativity.
Chicks who still think I'm nothing more than a piece of meat. Yeah yeah, I know, rough life. But hey, I'm pushing 50 now.
Knee-jerk reactionists.
Insomnia. Always hits when you can least afford it to.
When somebody places the toilet paper roll, rolling under.
Selecting the shortest line in the grocery store, and finding out it's because it's the slowest clerk; and watching the rest of the lines flow freely with shoppers who were there way after you.
Those damn overly loud commercials. I'm deaf, but I'm not THAT deaf. Jesus Christ almighty.
Uninformed anti-immigration bigots.
Otherwise physically fit people who have hardly (if ever) paid into Social Security; and who live on it, by drawing off of it.
The U.S. Prison Industrial Complex. It's not about "rehabilitation"; it's about job security and shareholder dividends. Just ask the more than 1 out of every 100 American's that can't escape its clutches - no matter how hard they try.
Career politicians.
Homophobes.
The Lynnwood WA Police Department. How is this corrupt agency still accredited?
People (or unknown numbers) who continually call your cellphone, but won't leave a voicemail.
Seemingly "grown" men who wear their pants down past their ass; and are incredibly, wearing belts!
That after 6 years, there are people I know who I still couldn't tell you their names; but they all sure seem to know mine. Great. I feel like a schmuck.
Disney child stars.
"Best" friends who hang you out to dry. Hint: Friendship is a privilege. Don't use the term so loosely.
People who say "Nevermind". Hey, I'm frickin' deaf. It sometimes takes a few tries for me to understand clearly.
People in general. Enough said.
Heck, and that's not even scratching the surface…
Dub'
Monday, January 3, 2011
Perhaps this explains a lot
I’ve often wondered why I am who I am; why I turned out the way I did. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not a bad person; I’m actually a very decent person with a big heart. But sometimes it’s just too damn big for my own good. I love both sides of my family. A branch of my paternal family were of Scottish heritage (the name Riddle derives from “Rye
I haven’t seen my mother in perhaps 18-19 years. I believe it all started when I went to move in with my father at the age of (almost) 15. It was one of *those things*; a boy maturing into a young man, and who required his own opinion on things. I don’t think it was too much to ask for; but apparently it was, and off I was sent packing to my father. My mother then proceeded to move out of state, and into a whole new life. She worked in her career for a while, and then eventually began to move around the country a lot. Colorado , Oklahoma , Hawaii Tennessee Colorado Seminary College
Dub’
Sunday, January 2, 2011
What precisely is love, anyway?
Some believe it’s a state wherein you put it all out there; all or nothing. Others believe that merely caring for someone else, while having great sex, suffices. Its obvious then that love cannot be pigeonholed; designated into a neat little package. This would suggest perhaps that love is best determined by an individual’s propensity to love – and to be loved. Yes, to be loved. Just as the measure of how far a human can succeed based upon how far they must climb out of a hole, so too the propensity for a human’s capacity for loving others is determined by how much they are willing to be loved in turn. Me? Far from being a generalist, I believe love involves crucial components. Admiration comes to mind, and I’m not talking sexual admiration; I’m talking about the kind of admiration expressed when you sense a simple wonder. I’m talking about affection. I don’t think love can exist without it. You may find yourself caring for somebody; but do you feel a sense of warmhearted devotion towards them? I also believe that true love is big on patience. And let’s not overlook basic respect. Being in love is a position of privilege; it comes with the acceptance of certain courtesies, and the ability to honor – while still remaining true to oneself. I guess a major problem would be that a lot of people haven’t really figured out how to honor – much less love – themselves, much less others. For the most part, I’m probably just as guilty as anybody could be when it comes to this; but I don’t think I’ve ever had a problem when it came to the feelings of others – and not feel like I’m short-changing myself. If I didn’t care, I wouldn’t; which brings us to the subject of indifference. Though we may have to detach ourselves at times out of sheer necessity; I do not believe that love and true indifference can survive each other. It’s one, or the other; but I do not see how they could ever co-exist.
Well, there you have it. Mutual senses of admiration, respect, affection, courtesy and honor. Oh, and a determination to want what’s best for another. That’s the tricky one; and that opens up a whole other chapter. Bottom line? Love is best determined by the individual; and your propensity to love is equal to your propensity to be loved.
Dub’
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