- Battery life, as related to keeping smart phones "smart". Can't even make it through an entire day without hooking the phone to a charger at some point.
- Fruit-flavored, "extra-strength" Tums, with calcium. Here's a great idea. Let's take a barely effective medicinal product, make it look and taste just like candy, and then lace it with calcium. Then market it towards a particular target-demographic prone more to kidney stones than others; and who also require a greater dosage for effectiveness. Pardon my pharmacological ignorance, but really - what's the deal with calcium in antacids? And why the hell don't you put child-proof caps on this product? A toddler gets a hold of that, all they will see are big, round, pretty, easter egg-colored "candy"; which tastes like… well, candy.
- Growing up with Ward Cleaver and Jim Anderson as the pop culture criterion for fatherhood, and *not quite* being able to duplicate that.
- While we're on the subject, has anybody ever noticed the inordinate amount of family shows from the 60's which had single fathers raising children? What was that all about? Shows such as My Three Sons, Bonanza, The Beverly Hillbillies, Courtship of Eddie's Father, Family Affair, Flipper, The Andy Griffith Show/Mayberry R.F.D, etc. Why did Hollywood hate mothers so much in the 60's?
- Having to now shell out 6 bucks for a half-way decent frozen pizza.
- Having her take you home, only to have her drunkenly pass out while slow dancing to good, mood-setting music. Scratch that. At my age, that's actually more amusing than annoying. It all comes and goes. Now, for you younger guys, this would probably stay on your list.
- Medical bills which flood your mailbox; only after all the professional "concern" about your health dies down.
- Microwave meals that instruct you to "let stand for 2 minutes in microwave" after it's done cooking. I'm hungry, and I chose a nuke meal. That means I don't have the patience to cook; why would I have the patience to wait?
- My gastrointestinally self-destructive eating habits; only after the fact, of course.
- That I forgot to call my son for our annual long and drawn-out meaningful father/son talk at 4:19pm on April 20th. For some reason, the timing always seems to not be convenient for him.
- When I go grocery shopping between sales and mark-downs on the items I usually consume, and face paying full price. Yeah, I know, just go to Grocery Outlet; but that place gets real old after a while.
- Vehicles with more than one occupant, clogging up the fast lane when I'm trying to get somewhere, instead of chugging along at 60 in the diamond lane where they belong.
- While driving solo, having to resort to using the diamond lane as a passing lane so as to pass the aforementioned vehicle, on account of everybody and their mother is already passing us on the right.
- Remember when you were young and horny, and you had to practically bend over backwards to convince others that you had actually slept with someone? Apparently I'm at the age now where I have to fight even harder to convince others when I HAVEN'T slept with someone. WTF?
Always more forthcoming...
Dub'
- Chislers, welchers, and deadbeat scumbags.
- Distance, when it's not desired.
- Dry, time-consuming meetings which pull dozens of people away from their work at the same time.
- While we're on the subject, people who give presentations at dry, time-consuming meetings; and aren't creative or articulative enough to do anything other than read directly off of what's already on the presentation screen. Seriously, you want us to learn something here? Then don't read word-for-word off the screen as if we were 4-year olds getting ready for bed. What a complete waste of time! Consider instead telling us what you're going to talk about; then talk about it WHILE you refer to the slides. Then summarize, by telling us all about what you just told us. Voila'! We all just learned something, and you just made it worth our collective time.
- Having to resort to doing other peoples dishes; not that I've always been completely innocent. But when I'm still paying ALL the bills as well?
- Overly-critical people who disparage every single thing specific individuals do and say, no matter what.
- Smart-asses who don't know the *proper ways* of being a smart-ass. It's part science, part fine-art.
- That GED's have become so heavily depended upon at large, by our society. Whatever happened to just about everybody going to school all the way thru highschool, and then graduating? I briefly discussed John Hancock today; and I swear, some people thought I was alluding to masturbation.
- The fact that it's the 3rd week of April, and Spring is still nowhere to be found up here in the Puget Sound.
- Unknown reasons behind continued periods of self-isolation.
The rants continue...
Dub'
- Cowards whose mouths are bigger than their balls.
- Divisional business partners who come at me early in the week, to announce they're going to log-jam me the final 2 days of the week; rather than simply stagger the work from that point on. Yeah, it's not like I've ever had anything to do at work those final 2 days before the weekend.
- Having the City tell the property owners to change the unit numbers, then finding out from the cable company that the person who had THAT number previously (though it was a different place) owes back fees which now render your current residence (where you've lived for years) as "unserviceable" - until of course somebody ponies up the money. Confused? So is the cable company. Not me though; I'm just pissed.
- Having to worry about others, when I've never quite worried enough about myself.
- Human cockroaches who don't work for a living, leech off a system they never paid into, and go around spawning numerous illegitimate cockroaches of their own; so that society has to pay for them too. If there's one thing wrong with this country, there it is in a nutshell.
- Migraines. They're back; pretty much with a vengeance.
- Paying other peoples bills, when I'm pretty much overwhelmed by my own.
- That I've gone through 2 attorneys, 2 States, and 3 retainers (getting ready to pay my 4th), and I'm still not divorced. Why don't you just let me go, for Chrissakes? No property, no children; and I've paid the majority of the community bills. What the hell are you holding out for? It's been over 8 years; and you've spent the last 7 of them with the same man. Let me get on with my fucking life.
- Those who would suggest it's acceptable for me to consider the possibility of having my own blood spilled, while getting nothing tangible in return on account of it; rather than to simply settle the final score once and for all. For good. Forever.
- Those who take the money, and run.
- Wishing you could be somewhere else far away; and knowing you can't.
And so it continues...
Dub'
- Motivational-type people who post incessant daily updates and happenings dripping with overly-positive personal affirmations and testimonials; to the point it makes you want to barf. Yo, there's a reason these people post like this ad nauseum; and it has nothing to do with YOUR lack of success. It has to do with them being afraid of their insecurities; in addition to their overly-inflated egos and disproportionate senses of self-importance.
- That love has become like shooting a game of darts; i.e. sometimes you gotta find satisfaction in the uncertainty of fighting hard for a game you're in the middle of, rather than focusing on the bullseye you scored in a previous game which you lost.
- That I still tend to ignore my mail box.
- That if fate would have it, there are those who would insist that other miscreants who had capitalized on my (previous) good nature, would continue to be able to do so; and that all the pressure would remain on me instead of them. Get a mother fuckin' job, you worthless leeching dirtbag cockroach.
- That sometimes I just have to mind my own business, when my conscience tells me I shouldn't.
- That in attempting to rightfully protect my own valid feelings, I have to constantly be reminded to consider the feelings of others which aren't necessarily in line with mine. I'm getting too old for this nice guy shit; I'm more like that carton of milk that's now 7 days past its purchase date. I may be seemingly delicious today; but tomorrow I'll be sour and curdled. Drink up now, or throw me away.
- That my mother is stubborn, and won't take her meds. It's like watching a female version of me, 30 years from now.
- That we live in a society where the family unit has become so fragmented, that it's perfectly normal to send our aging elders into "rest homes", instead of caring for them as they had cared for us. Look at Asia and the Middle East. No rest homes; just intact families who depend on each other till the end.
- Animals posing as humans, who can only manage to obtain off the blood, sweat and tears of others.
- That nowadays, even a great love is seemingly nothing more than the prospect of a near-perfect game; and means absolutely nothing unless it goes the distance for the win. How do you think Harvey Haddix felt?
More of the moronic on the way...
Dub'
- Billing and accounting practices of independent auto sales and repair shops.
- Care-facility workers for the elderly, who in an effort to make their job easier and more convenient, would intentionally mislead and confuse a stroke victim. I'm serious; this shit happens more than you would ever even think.
- Cracking the screen on my Blackberry, after working my Texas Hold Em' chip count up to over 8 million dollars.
- Making your own way home 30 miles from the airport on a Saturday night, when the person you anticipated would have no problem picking you up, is perfectly comfortable watching other friends of thiers sing karaoke instead.
- Those who carelessly cast aside a valued investment, in favor of an obvious bad investment; and then insist on wanting their original investment back after they go bust on the new one. Yo, it's an unfortunate situation, it really is; but apparently you got what you bargained for. Quit whining.
- That's there's always *one member* within a band of musician's who takes it upon himself to needlessly make it harder on everyone.
- That before the social networking phenomenon, it was somehow perfectly normal to go 30 years without seeing or hearing from extended family members.
- What happens to the mind of a parent, after they've suffered a stroke.
- That I couldn't stay longer in Oklahoma. Despite the reasons I went there, I was really beginning to like it there.
- That the half-retarded, blow-hard, wanna-be thug, man-child next door still thinks that the empty threats which continue to come out of his big mouth somehow intimidate me. And while we're on the subject, why are you still so concerned with what you would think I do with my ass? That's all you seem to talk about. Can you say *obsessed*? Closet-case much?
- Those who would think they can sell me on some ludicrous idea that being considered second best is somehow acceptable. Don't piss down my back, and then tell me it's raining. Mama raised a fool; not a damn fool.
Stay tuned; always more to come...
Dub'
- The airline and travel industry; more specifically the price gouging for otherwise inexpensive and nominal services. You goin' somewhere? It'll cost you 40 bucks if you wanna bring your luggage along too. Hungry? 10 bucks, and we'll let you eat this little stale sandwich so you don't starve while trapped in our flying tube. Need to check your email? That'll cost you 13 bucks.
- Cell phone plans that reward unknown prospects, by inducing them with anywhere from a $35 - $99 dollar phone to sign up; but force reliable long-term established customers to cough up anywhere from $250 - $600 for the same phones when they finally need one.
- And while I'm on the subject of cell phone service providers, I find it quite ironic that a billion dollar industry that relies on high tech satellite communications, can't even so much as figure out how to get their customer service people to communicate properly with their customers. I mean, really now. Ya'll should be leading the way when it comes down to the topic of effective business communication.
- Getting dealt a crappy hand when you've got the small blind.
- Getting dealt a crappy hand when you've got the small blind, and nobody raises.
- Height bigots, and those who make fun of short men.
- Lost luggage. Why always me?
- Seriously thin-skinned people who wouldn't know a real problem, if it came up and slapped them in the face.
- Medical care providers for the elderly, who approach their jobs as if it's just another job to do. It's not. When you're trying to get a skeptical elderly patient to take all those different meds, why don't you take a brief moment out of your hectic day to actually explain WHAT those meds are for, and WHY it's important they take them? Getting all flustered and huffy because an otherwise unaware elderly person has their own will isn't getting the proper message across. The elderly often require additional care; which takes more time and effort than most of us. Just take a breath, relax, and explain. There… now everybody feels better.
- While we're on the subject, why do you continually give my mother bland meal selections (which she continually voices her displeasure, to no apparent avail so far), while at the same time giving a big bowl of spicy chili to the elderly lady at her table who suffered her third heart attack? Which of you Einstein's there is the dietician?
Still on my trip to the mid-west; I guarantee more to come soon.
Dub'
- Half-measures of anything.
- Losing to people who have no honor.
- Obamacare. Now that I see what it really means to my elderly mother on Medicare.
- Overly-conspicuous red herrings ("hey everybody, look over there!"), and those who resort to them.
- People who demand immediate answers for things that aren't otherwise imminently required, and don't seem to understand what it means when others prioritize; and then resort to going over your head when they're not given top priority.
- Saint Frances Hospital, in Tulsa Oklahoma. "Obamacare" at its worst. Or is that "finest"?
- Self-imposed withdrawal and alienation. Used to be you just had to meet somebody to make a connection. Now it seems the more people you meet, the fewer prospects there appear to be.
- That in order to simply be taken seriously by those who would otherwise cast aside my opinions, I must at times resort to stinging forthrightness.
- Those who carelessly tread on others, then object as to the length of ongoing tensions their actions had created in the first place. The bigger the pond, the more significant the ripples.
- Those who preach to others about accountability; then would have us all overlook the significance as to the impact their subsequent bad choices had on everyone else.
- Transparently thin and ever-changing rationales that wreak of bullshit; and whose purveyors would have you think are valid reasons.
- Trying to cut through red tape during real emergencies.
- Women who keep me tucked away, like I'm a dirty little secret. What? Am I a vibrator, or something?
I'll be traveling this coming week; I'm certain that will provide no shortage of fodder for the 11th installment of TTPMO.
Dub'
